What is it about cold, rainy days that put you in the writing mood? Whatever it is, I've finally been inspired to pick up my (virtual) pen again and give you guys a few updates.
The past couple months have consisted of several changes for Chris and I. Mostly good ones, thank goodness, but they have emerged from semi-negative places. Allow me to explain.
First things first, just in case any of you are under the impression that we live a fun and fancy free life because of our luxurious journalism and in-home care jobs, let me assure you: we are poor. Dirt poor. Paycheck-to-paycheck poor. And there's no shame in that, because a million other young people are in the exact same situation as us and are getting along fine. But getting behind on bills and not being able to put money in savings has caused a lot of internal strife, especially in regards to planning for our future. So in order to get our finances in order, we recently met with a financial planner. Sure, we've done Dave Ramsey and we've tried our hand at building our own budgets, but truthfully ... we suck at it. It's high time we get guidance from a professional so we can see what things keep tripping us up and figure out a solid system that works for us. I'm excited. It'll probably be a lengthy process, but worth it in the long run, especially since we're doing it at a young age.
Another new thing in our lives is Bible study. Chris and I love our church and have been going there since before we got married, but we've been very slow to get involved. We both have struggled a lot with our faith over the past few years, so getting to a place where we're comfortable attending regularly again is huge for us. Still, we hadn't really met many other couples our age or done much beyond Sunday morning worship. We recently started a group study called Storyline after our friend and assistant pastor invited us. It's the most unique Bible study I've ever been a part of. Although it's founded in biblical principles, the study almost is like a therapy session. It lets each participant to evaluate the positive and negative "turns" in their life and assess how it has affected their development and turned them into who they are today. The end goal is to see how our stories measure up to God's plan for us, and allows us to redeem the negative things that have happened to us to find a greater purpose. We're almost halfway through and we love it so far. It's definitely an instance of right place, right time, right frame of mind that got us to this point, and I'm thankful for it. Our supportive church family is steadily growing, along with our faith again.
Amid all these changes, I've kind of let my health fall by the wayside. Things got busy and life got in the way, so I wasn't eating or exercising like I should. I actually even ignored a few issues I was starting to have because 1) I didn't have time to deal with them and 2) I didn't want to pay for more doctor's appointments. Co-pays add up, people. But I recently had a scare and a good talk with my parents that prompted me to refocus on my health.
The "scare" wasn't as bad as I thought, but I'm glad I got it checked out anyway. My arms, hands, fingers, and eventually my right foot kept going numb and tingly off and on for several days. I wrote it off for a while, thinking it was nothing, until I shouldn't shake the feeling that if I didn't address the problem it could turn into something really scary. (For some reason I kept thinking stroke or ALS. I tend to get panicky, if you couldn't tell.) One last-minute doctor's appointment later and I'm still not sure what it is, but it's been narrowed down to either inflammation or possible carpal tunnel symptoms. I have a follow-up next week to check things out even more. In the meantime, they put me on a 7-day steroid pack to address any inflammation I might have and I haven't felt numb since. I'll keep you updated.
Finally, since I'm refocusing on my health again, I've been inspired by social media to try something new. As everyone who enjoys food knows, it's really hard to make healthy diet choices when so many delicious, fatty things are available all the time. Chris and I have dabbled in vegetarianism, veganism, and even juicing to see if it would help us. In the end, each was just too extreme for me. When a Facebook friend recently documented her family's journey with the Whole 30 Challenge, I was intrigued.
From what little I've read, Whole 30 is basically eliminating dairy, sugar, and grains from your diet to "detoxify" your system, but ONLY for 30 days. That's a big incentive. I could never, ever go full paleo indefinitely. I still roll my eyes every time I see or hear the word paleo. But the challenge has its merits, because eating strictly fruits, vegetables, and proteins all month and eliminating processed foods is a pretty simple diet plan. Once the 30 days are over, you can start reintroducing foods to see how your body feels. It's a way to recharge both your diet and the way you think about the foods you eat. Chris and I have talked about it and are contemplating doing the challenge in the near future (probably after I talk to my doctor). We cook so much homemade food anyway, with an emphasis on veggies and a lot of chicken, that I hope it won't be too difficult. We just have to finish the off-limits food in our kitchen, because let's be real, we can't afford to throw food away. We're poor, remember? But I'm pretty excited. Hopefully this can at least curb the amount of cheesy, bready, fatty stuff we eat too often and give us better options.
Whew. This one was a biggie. Thanks for reading! I promise to post more regularly from now on, especially if we go forward with Whole 30. I want to document our progress on my blog instead of Facebook or Instagram, mainly because I don't want to annoy people with my pictures and recipes. But if you like pictures and recipes, stay tuned!
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
Change. I don't like it, but I need it.
My daily makeup routine takes me 2 minutes in the morning and I use exactly 3 products (or 4, if you count the lipstick I swipe on in the car):
1. Covergirl Fresh Complexion concealer in Classic Ivory. I use it all over my face like foundation. Cheap, simple, perfect.
2. NARS The Multiple blush stick. Expensive, but it lasts forever.
3. L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Mascara. A nice in-between price, and it makes your lashes as thick and long as falsies.
Well, tonight I've discovered that an entire third of my makeup collection has been ... *dun dun duuunnnn* ... DISCONTINUED.
I've looked for Fresh Complexion all week at Walgreens, Walmart, Target and Ulta. No luck. A quick Google search confirmed my worst fear -- Covergirl is discontinuing the trusty concealer I have used basically since I started wearing makeup.
(Settle down, it's not really my worst fear. I'm not that shallow.)
Now, this probably doesn't sound like that big of a deal, and it really shouldn't be. But I'm a person who is extremely resistant to change. I don't fear it so much as I find it highly inconvenient. Any change, bad or good, messes up what I'm used to and forces me to alter my behavior or routine. I don't get anxiety, per se, but I don't welcome anything new or different with open arms, either.
As a result of Covergirl being a big jerk and getting rid of my favorite product, I had to find a replacement. Same brand, and I'm guessing it's pretty much the same formula, but it comes in one of those dumb looking triangle shaped jars that old ladies use. Plus it's thicker and it doesn't have a wand and it's a couple bucks more expensive and it isn't quite the same color as my old stuff.
See? Nightmare.
I know, I know, I'm being dramatic. I'll eventually get used to new makeup and life will go on. But this minor setback illustrates a larger truth about myself. Change has always been, and I suspect will always be, hard for me. Fear of change is partially what prevents me from doing responsible things like saving money and exercising more often. Why? Because I'd rather just keep doing what I always do.
I had two back-to-back doctor follow-ups in the past few days and they both told me something that puts weight loss into a new perspective for me. Once a person's body gets used to living life at a certain weight, it is highly resistant to change. It doesn't want to lose any fat, and will do everything it can to hold onto as much of it as possible. That's why losing weight can be a difficult and frustrating process. Even the best intentions are slow to produce results because body chemistry literally is fighting against it.
As good as I have been recently about exercising and eating right, I don't have any results to show for it yet. I know I need to exercise more and eat even better than I have been to really kick my body into gear, but it's hard to do when the motivation isn't there.
Thankfully, my doctors are smarter than me and more well equipped to give my body the boost it needs. I've started taking a medication that will not only help me lose weight, it also will lower my high-ish blood sugar numbers and combat symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome, which they suspect I might have.
This is a new experience for me because I'm not used to taking prescription meds for long periods of time. I also don't like the stigma that's associated with "diet pills," although this isn't a diet pill; weight loss is just a side effect. But despite that, I'm eager to see what results I might start to see soon as long as I keep up my other good work. For once, this is a change I can be happy about. Although the road to getting here was a little longer and more expensive than I had hoped (stinkin' co-pays), I'm glad I finally have a better grasp on just what exactly is going on in my body and what I can do to fix it. Here's hoping that my progress starts to pay off soon!
P.S. In light of all the terrible, horrible things happening in the news recently, I understand that this post might seem flippant or immature because I haven't addressed any of it. I don't want you to think that my makeup woes are more important to me than the suffering of others. While it doesn't mean I don't care about what's happening in our world, this blog just isn't the right territory for sociopolitical discussions. Not right now, anyway. Instead I wanted to share something that's a little on the brighter side, even if my lame attempts at humor don't quite pan out. But in any case, my thoughts and prayers are with the families of Robin Williams, Mike Brown, Tony Stewart, Kevin Ward Jr., and the people of Israel, Gaza, Syria, Iraq, and Africa. There. I think that about covers it. Let me know if I missed anything.
1. Covergirl Fresh Complexion concealer in Classic Ivory. I use it all over my face like foundation. Cheap, simple, perfect.
2. NARS The Multiple blush stick. Expensive, but it lasts forever.
3. L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Mascara. A nice in-between price, and it makes your lashes as thick and long as falsies.
Well, tonight I've discovered that an entire third of my makeup collection has been ... *dun dun duuunnnn* ... DISCONTINUED.
I've looked for Fresh Complexion all week at Walgreens, Walmart, Target and Ulta. No luck. A quick Google search confirmed my worst fear -- Covergirl is discontinuing the trusty concealer I have used basically since I started wearing makeup.
(Settle down, it's not really my worst fear. I'm not that shallow.)
 |
| R.I.P. :( |
As a result of Covergirl being a big jerk and getting rid of my favorite product, I had to find a replacement. Same brand, and I'm guessing it's pretty much the same formula, but it comes in one of those dumb looking triangle shaped jars that old ladies use. Plus it's thicker and it doesn't have a wand and it's a couple bucks more expensive and it isn't quite the same color as my old stuff.
See? Nightmare.
I know, I know, I'm being dramatic. I'll eventually get used to new makeup and life will go on. But this minor setback illustrates a larger truth about myself. Change has always been, and I suspect will always be, hard for me. Fear of change is partially what prevents me from doing responsible things like saving money and exercising more often. Why? Because I'd rather just keep doing what I always do.
I had two back-to-back doctor follow-ups in the past few days and they both told me something that puts weight loss into a new perspective for me. Once a person's body gets used to living life at a certain weight, it is highly resistant to change. It doesn't want to lose any fat, and will do everything it can to hold onto as much of it as possible. That's why losing weight can be a difficult and frustrating process. Even the best intentions are slow to produce results because body chemistry literally is fighting against it.
As good as I have been recently about exercising and eating right, I don't have any results to show for it yet. I know I need to exercise more and eat even better than I have been to really kick my body into gear, but it's hard to do when the motivation isn't there.
Thankfully, my doctors are smarter than me and more well equipped to give my body the boost it needs. I've started taking a medication that will not only help me lose weight, it also will lower my high-ish blood sugar numbers and combat symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome, which they suspect I might have.
This is a new experience for me because I'm not used to taking prescription meds for long periods of time. I also don't like the stigma that's associated with "diet pills," although this isn't a diet pill; weight loss is just a side effect. But despite that, I'm eager to see what results I might start to see soon as long as I keep up my other good work. For once, this is a change I can be happy about. Although the road to getting here was a little longer and more expensive than I had hoped (stinkin' co-pays), I'm glad I finally have a better grasp on just what exactly is going on in my body and what I can do to fix it. Here's hoping that my progress starts to pay off soon!
P.S. In light of all the terrible, horrible things happening in the news recently, I understand that this post might seem flippant or immature because I haven't addressed any of it. I don't want you to think that my makeup woes are more important to me than the suffering of others. While it doesn't mean I don't care about what's happening in our world, this blog just isn't the right territory for sociopolitical discussions. Not right now, anyway. Instead I wanted to share something that's a little on the brighter side, even if my lame attempts at humor don't quite pan out. But in any case, my thoughts and prayers are with the families of Robin Williams, Mike Brown, Tony Stewart, Kevin Ward Jr., and the people of Israel, Gaza, Syria, Iraq, and Africa. There. I think that about covers it. Let me know if I missed anything.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Little steps
Slowly but surely, I'm finally starting to fulfill the promises I made to myself when I started this blog. Here's a recap of what I've been up to for the past couple weeks.
First and foremost, I started doing something I've been wanting to do FOREVER but never got around to until now: yoga! Tonight was only my second class with Andrea at Clarity Yoga and Wellness, but I already love it. My only regret is that I didn't start sooner. Clarity is just a block away from my office, so it's the perfect opportunity to drop in after work before heading home. I'll regularly be attending an intro class called Gentle Yoga on Mondays to get used to the poses and breathing, and hopefully work up to more classes in the future. In the meantime, I want to supplement with Youtube yoga other days of the week.
What I love so far is the noticeable difference I already feel in my body. After yoga today I don't have any lower back pain, which is something I've been struggling with for several months. My neck has bothered me with occasional pain since I was a kid, but all the tension is gone after class. My limbs feel looser, I walk a little lighter, and my posture is straighter. It's awesome. The instructor even came up to me before I left and gave me an incredibly kind compliment about my good form despite being a beginner. Before I even had a chance to assume she said that to everyone, she assured me that she doesn't say it to everyone, and tries to be sincere in her compliments to students so they know they're doing a good job. That was nice, and needed.
One thing I didn't count on was how difficult it can be. On TV and in pictures it just looks like sitting and standing with your arms held up at different angles. It's actually a bit more complicated than that because you have to align your body properly in each pose so the muscles stretch the right way without injury. It's tempting to want to get out of the pose early when I get tired. But since I want to improve my form, it's kind of fun to mentally challenge myself to hold the poses as long as I can and push past the discomfort I start to feel. This must be what other exercise is like. Huh. Who'da thunk.
Besides yoga, I've also started (gradually) getting more active in other ways. I FINALLY got a new pair of boxing gloves that don't hurt my hands, so I've been hitting the bag more often. On nights I don't feel like walking (all of them), Chris encourages me to take the dogs with him around the block, even if it's just a quarter mile. We've been working in the garden more too, which brings me to my next point ... healthy eating!
Okay, I'm the worst at sticking to a healthy diet. I'll be doing really well for a few days, and then bam! Pizza for every meal. (A.k.a. Saturday.) But having produce from my own garden and my mom's has kind of forced me to get more creative with vegetables since I don't want our hard-earned work to go bad. And then when I cook and eat healthy, it makes me want to shop healthy. On the flip side, when I get done doing healthy activities like yoga, I want to eat something afterward that's good for me. THEN, after I've gotten in some exercise and had a nutritious meal, it makes me want to be productive around the house instead of laze on the couch. It's all connected. I'm slowly getting it now.
To maintain my diet improvements, I've started keeping a food journal again. I'm not going to count calories because let's be real, it's a pain in the ass. But having a visual reminder of what I have eaten is a good way to push myself in a better direction. Writing out that I faltered a lot in one day kinda sucks (e.g. The Day of Pizza referenced earlier), but it motivates me to do better the next day. Or at least try.
My journey to self improvement isn't just physical. Ever since I graduated from college I've been frustrated by my lack of interest in reading. Chris is a library fiend and has new books every week, but even when I've tried checking out things that seem interesting, I barely crack them. However, I think I might have found the book that could change all that! And it's about a brutal, sadistic serial killer. Lovely.
But really though, "The Devil in the White City" by Erik Larson has been on my reading list for several years. It's a true story that juxtaposes the construction and execution of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair with the sinister activities of notorious killer H.H. Holmes. In college I either didn't have time for it or was too chicken to start it. Chris brought it home randomly last week and I decided to steal it from him. One of my best ideas all year. The story is captivating for sure, but it's also beautifully written. I still can't seem to sit down and read for long stretches of time like I used to, but I try to read at least a little bit every day. I can tell this will only improve the longer I do it.
And to round off this entry, a few more random happenings to jot down. Firstly, I had my five year high school reunion this past weekend. It was ... weird. In a pleasant kind of way. Seeing acquaintances I hadn't talked to since graduation actually was pretty fun, and it was nice to catch up with them. It also gave me an opportunity to hang out with close friends I don't get to see very often, which is always a pleasure.
Tomorrow morning I'm going on our news station's 7:00 morning show to talk about Josephine magazine. I'm not really looking forward to it. Tune in if you want. Or don't. Actually, I'd rather you didn't.
I have my endocrinology follow-up next week and hopefully that will provide me with some answers and solutions to my ongoing health issues. I'm not worried about a diagnosis. I'm more concerned with wanting to prove to my doctors that I'm finally taking my weight loss seriously. My primary doctor has high hopes for me, so I appreciate her support. My endocrinologist ... well, he's another story. Hopefully it's a quick in and out so I don't have to sit through him silently judging me for too long.
Lastly, I found out last night that one of my coworkers died suddenly over the weekend, possibly due to complications from a motorcycle crash he had in early July. It was a very unexpected loss and I'm struggling to understand it, as are most of the others in the newsroom. I always hate when something tragic happens so close to home. He was a smart, funny, good natured guy who was always willing to answer my questions and lend a hand when I needed help. I didn't know Paul well, but I did know that he loved cars, motorcycles, "The Big Lebowski" and The Cranberries. I secretly admired that he was married to a veterinarian because that was my childhood dream job, and it was fun to imagine that I was one degree of separation closer to that occupation. (Ugh, I get it, I'm a dork.) When I once wrote a brief magazine entry about my favorite way to cook eggs (Gordon Ramsay style, obviously), he came to my desk the day after he designed the page and told me they were the best eggs he ever had. I made some for breakfast this morning in his honor. He was a good man and he will be missed by the News-Press.
First and foremost, I started doing something I've been wanting to do FOREVER but never got around to until now: yoga! Tonight was only my second class with Andrea at Clarity Yoga and Wellness, but I already love it. My only regret is that I didn't start sooner. Clarity is just a block away from my office, so it's the perfect opportunity to drop in after work before heading home. I'll regularly be attending an intro class called Gentle Yoga on Mondays to get used to the poses and breathing, and hopefully work up to more classes in the future. In the meantime, I want to supplement with Youtube yoga other days of the week.
What I love so far is the noticeable difference I already feel in my body. After yoga today I don't have any lower back pain, which is something I've been struggling with for several months. My neck has bothered me with occasional pain since I was a kid, but all the tension is gone after class. My limbs feel looser, I walk a little lighter, and my posture is straighter. It's awesome. The instructor even came up to me before I left and gave me an incredibly kind compliment about my good form despite being a beginner. Before I even had a chance to assume she said that to everyone, she assured me that she doesn't say it to everyone, and tries to be sincere in her compliments to students so they know they're doing a good job. That was nice, and needed.
One thing I didn't count on was how difficult it can be. On TV and in pictures it just looks like sitting and standing with your arms held up at different angles. It's actually a bit more complicated than that because you have to align your body properly in each pose so the muscles stretch the right way without injury. It's tempting to want to get out of the pose early when I get tired. But since I want to improve my form, it's kind of fun to mentally challenge myself to hold the poses as long as I can and push past the discomfort I start to feel. This must be what other exercise is like. Huh. Who'da thunk.
Besides yoga, I've also started (gradually) getting more active in other ways. I FINALLY got a new pair of boxing gloves that don't hurt my hands, so I've been hitting the bag more often. On nights I don't feel like walking (all of them), Chris encourages me to take the dogs with him around the block, even if it's just a quarter mile. We've been working in the garden more too, which brings me to my next point ... healthy eating!
Okay, I'm the worst at sticking to a healthy diet. I'll be doing really well for a few days, and then bam! Pizza for every meal. (A.k.a. Saturday.) But having produce from my own garden and my mom's has kind of forced me to get more creative with vegetables since I don't want our hard-earned work to go bad. And then when I cook and eat healthy, it makes me want to shop healthy. On the flip side, when I get done doing healthy activities like yoga, I want to eat something afterward that's good for me. THEN, after I've gotten in some exercise and had a nutritious meal, it makes me want to be productive around the house instead of laze on the couch. It's all connected. I'm slowly getting it now.
To maintain my diet improvements, I've started keeping a food journal again. I'm not going to count calories because let's be real, it's a pain in the ass. But having a visual reminder of what I have eaten is a good way to push myself in a better direction. Writing out that I faltered a lot in one day kinda sucks (e.g. The Day of Pizza referenced earlier), but it motivates me to do better the next day. Or at least try.
My journey to self improvement isn't just physical. Ever since I graduated from college I've been frustrated by my lack of interest in reading. Chris is a library fiend and has new books every week, but even when I've tried checking out things that seem interesting, I barely crack them. However, I think I might have found the book that could change all that! And it's about a brutal, sadistic serial killer. Lovely.
But really though, "The Devil in the White City" by Erik Larson has been on my reading list for several years. It's a true story that juxtaposes the construction and execution of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair with the sinister activities of notorious killer H.H. Holmes. In college I either didn't have time for it or was too chicken to start it. Chris brought it home randomly last week and I decided to steal it from him. One of my best ideas all year. The story is captivating for sure, but it's also beautifully written. I still can't seem to sit down and read for long stretches of time like I used to, but I try to read at least a little bit every day. I can tell this will only improve the longer I do it.
And to round off this entry, a few more random happenings to jot down. Firstly, I had my five year high school reunion this past weekend. It was ... weird. In a pleasant kind of way. Seeing acquaintances I hadn't talked to since graduation actually was pretty fun, and it was nice to catch up with them. It also gave me an opportunity to hang out with close friends I don't get to see very often, which is always a pleasure.
Tomorrow morning I'm going on our news station's 7:00 morning show to talk about Josephine magazine. I'm not really looking forward to it. Tune in if you want. Or don't. Actually, I'd rather you didn't.
I have my endocrinology follow-up next week and hopefully that will provide me with some answers and solutions to my ongoing health issues. I'm not worried about a diagnosis. I'm more concerned with wanting to prove to my doctors that I'm finally taking my weight loss seriously. My primary doctor has high hopes for me, so I appreciate her support. My endocrinologist ... well, he's another story. Hopefully it's a quick in and out so I don't have to sit through him silently judging me for too long.
Lastly, I found out last night that one of my coworkers died suddenly over the weekend, possibly due to complications from a motorcycle crash he had in early July. It was a very unexpected loss and I'm struggling to understand it, as are most of the others in the newsroom. I always hate when something tragic happens so close to home. He was a smart, funny, good natured guy who was always willing to answer my questions and lend a hand when I needed help. I didn't know Paul well, but I did know that he loved cars, motorcycles, "The Big Lebowski" and The Cranberries. I secretly admired that he was married to a veterinarian because that was my childhood dream job, and it was fun to imagine that I was one degree of separation closer to that occupation. (Ugh, I get it, I'm a dork.) When I once wrote a brief magazine entry about my favorite way to cook eggs (Gordon Ramsay style, obviously), he came to my desk the day after he designed the page and told me they were the best eggs he ever had. I made some for breakfast this morning in his honor. He was a good man and he will be missed by the News-Press.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
How accidentally punching a dude in the groin turned into true love, and other life lessons
Hello, readers! Miss me yet?!
I'm pretty sure the past five blog posts have started with me offering an apology for not writing as often as I should and promising to do better. I'm not going to do that in this one because clearly I don't keep promises very well. What I will do is offer a brief explanation, albeit a lame one.
The past month or so has been a bit of a personal emotional rollercoaster for me, which culminated in a three-month follow-up with my primary doctor a few days ago. (Details about that to follow at a later date.) I've been allowing myself to get too stressed out about my weight, my health, my finances, my messy house, and really any other minor thing that can start eating at a person after a while. This caused me to abandon blogging mainly because I couldn't be bothered to do it. Any time I would think about sitting down and writing something new, my brain would go, "Eeeehhhhh, better not. Let's watch Netflix instead."
But I've decided to snap out of it and refocus my goals for the rest of the year. Returning to this page to purge my brain of all these worries and cares probably will be a cleansing activity, and following through with writing new posts will help me stay motivated to complete other activities. (I just bought a new pair of boxing gloves, and I'm going to my first yoga class next Monday! Eek!)
While I could dedicate this post to my continuing weight loss journey, I'm not going to. I have another appointment or two to get through before I'll feel ready to share what diagnosis and future plans. (Don't worry, it's nothing major.) Instead, I want to write about something a little mushy but much more interesting. To me, anyway. It might not be interesting to you, but if that's the case you can stop reading. *blows raspberry*
Five-ish years ago, I started working in the kitchen at Hy-Vee. My sister got me the job and I was excited to be working with her. But she quickly ceased to be my favorite coworker when I was introduced to a goofy guy wearing a smiley-face tie who always seemed up to no good. His name was Chris.
At the time, let's just say he was 'unavailable.' Which wouldn't have mattered anyway, because back then my fail-proof method of dealing with crushes was to avoid them like the plague and forget how to talk when they were within speaking distance. Yeah ... I wasn't a good flirt. (I've now learned from multiple sources that I sometimes came across as bitchy and stuck up when I was younger. But really, I just never knew how to interact with handsome fellas like a normal person. I was shy! Is that a crime?!)
So, I was content to admire him from afar ... until one fateful day when everything changed.
I tend to swing my arms when I walk. One night at work I was passing by a doorway I thought was unoccupied, when all of a sudden someone comes bounding through. Before I could stop it, my fist made direct contact with his crotch. I'm assuming it was painful, given the amount of time it took for him to regain composure after doubling over. I wanted to look for somewhere to hide, but all I could manage was a rapid-fire "Oh my gosh, I am so so so sorry!"
Once he got over the initial pain, he could have decided to laugh it off and let the rest of the night commence without incident. If only. Instead, he taped a plastic to-go bowl to his crotch and loudly announced his presence anytime I got near him, complete with beeping truck noises and arm flailing. (I could be making up that last part, but I wouldn't put it past him.)
I was mortified. But also secretly pleased, because hey, this cute and funny guy is finally paying attention to me! Still, that day will go down in infamy as one of the moments I will never be able to live down.
That, and the time I tumbled down the concrete stairs at a Central football game when I was a freshman. My friends called me Roly Poly the rest of the year. Man, I was just the coolest.
Anyway. The months went by, he eventually became 'available,' yada yada yada, a handful of years later and here we are.
I'm writing all this mushiness because I'm SO thankful that that humorous night has led to where we are today. While I know my indecision and weight frustration and emotions are probably difficult for him to navigate, he does so with ease and grace. He always knows the right thing to say when I'm feeling down and he always makes me feel beautiful, important, and special.
You'll never know when or where you might meet the one person who is the exact person you need in your life. For me that's doubly true. Chris and I didn't start dating until almost a year after the "incident", and in that time any number of things could have happened to push us off course. But it didn't.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that there are some parts of my life that I don't like, but those will never take away the fact that I have so much to be thankful for -- starting with my husband. I also have a loving family, supportive friends, a steady job, a cute little house, a safe neighborhood, and a welcoming church I can finally call home. It's time to start focusing on the positives again!
I'm pretty sure the past five blog posts have started with me offering an apology for not writing as often as I should and promising to do better. I'm not going to do that in this one because clearly I don't keep promises very well. What I will do is offer a brief explanation, albeit a lame one.
The past month or so has been a bit of a personal emotional rollercoaster for me, which culminated in a three-month follow-up with my primary doctor a few days ago. (Details about that to follow at a later date.) I've been allowing myself to get too stressed out about my weight, my health, my finances, my messy house, and really any other minor thing that can start eating at a person after a while. This caused me to abandon blogging mainly because I couldn't be bothered to do it. Any time I would think about sitting down and writing something new, my brain would go, "Eeeehhhhh, better not. Let's watch Netflix instead."
But I've decided to snap out of it and refocus my goals for the rest of the year. Returning to this page to purge my brain of all these worries and cares probably will be a cleansing activity, and following through with writing new posts will help me stay motivated to complete other activities. (I just bought a new pair of boxing gloves, and I'm going to my first yoga class next Monday! Eek!)
While I could dedicate this post to my continuing weight loss journey, I'm not going to. I have another appointment or two to get through before I'll feel ready to share what diagnosis and future plans. (Don't worry, it's nothing major.) Instead, I want to write about something a little mushy but much more interesting. To me, anyway. It might not be interesting to you, but if that's the case you can stop reading. *blows raspberry*
Five-ish years ago, I started working in the kitchen at Hy-Vee. My sister got me the job and I was excited to be working with her. But she quickly ceased to be my favorite coworker when I was introduced to a goofy guy wearing a smiley-face tie who always seemed up to no good. His name was Chris.
At the time, let's just say he was 'unavailable.' Which wouldn't have mattered anyway, because back then my fail-proof method of dealing with crushes was to avoid them like the plague and forget how to talk when they were within speaking distance. Yeah ... I wasn't a good flirt. (I've now learned from multiple sources that I sometimes came across as bitchy and stuck up when I was younger. But really, I just never knew how to interact with handsome fellas like a normal person. I was shy! Is that a crime?!)
So, I was content to admire him from afar ... until one fateful day when everything changed.
I tend to swing my arms when I walk. One night at work I was passing by a doorway I thought was unoccupied, when all of a sudden someone comes bounding through. Before I could stop it, my fist made direct contact with his crotch. I'm assuming it was painful, given the amount of time it took for him to regain composure after doubling over. I wanted to look for somewhere to hide, but all I could manage was a rapid-fire "Oh my gosh, I am so so so sorry!"
Once he got over the initial pain, he could have decided to laugh it off and let the rest of the night commence without incident. If only. Instead, he taped a plastic to-go bowl to his crotch and loudly announced his presence anytime I got near him, complete with beeping truck noises and arm flailing. (I could be making up that last part, but I wouldn't put it past him.)
I was mortified. But also secretly pleased, because hey, this cute and funny guy is finally paying attention to me! Still, that day will go down in infamy as one of the moments I will never be able to live down.
That, and the time I tumbled down the concrete stairs at a Central football game when I was a freshman. My friends called me Roly Poly the rest of the year. Man, I was just the coolest.
Anyway. The months went by, he eventually became 'available,' yada yada yada, a handful of years later and here we are.
I'm writing all this mushiness because I'm SO thankful that that humorous night has led to where we are today. While I know my indecision and weight frustration and emotions are probably difficult for him to navigate, he does so with ease and grace. He always knows the right thing to say when I'm feeling down and he always makes me feel beautiful, important, and special.
You'll never know when or where you might meet the one person who is the exact person you need in your life. For me that's doubly true. Chris and I didn't start dating until almost a year after the "incident", and in that time any number of things could have happened to push us off course. But it didn't.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that there are some parts of my life that I don't like, but those will never take away the fact that I have so much to be thankful for -- starting with my husband. I also have a loving family, supportive friends, a steady job, a cute little house, a safe neighborhood, and a welcoming church I can finally call home. It's time to start focusing on the positives again!
Friday, May 30, 2014
Random nothings
Hello all!
It has been far too long since I wrote a new post. There have been several times over the past couple weeks that I thought about it, but then was like, "Nah." I apologize for the hiatus. Since it's been such a long time, I think I'll take a page out of my friend Erin's book and write a random post just to catch up and fill space. Because I can.
(You should TOTALLY click the link for Erin's blog. She's hilarious, and her baby is adorable, and her blog is #5 on Top Mommy Blogs. Pretty impressive.)
Probably the most notable thing that's happened since I last wrote was Chris and I had our one year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's already been a year! Where has the time gone?! The month or so leading up to the date we tossed around ideas to go on a weekend trip or stay in a hotel or do something fun and off the wall. In the end, we decided to keep it low key because we don't have to have lavish gifts and celebrations to show that we still love each other. (Actually, we did it because we're poor. I'd totally live a lavish life if I could, let's be real.)
We ended up staying home most of the weekend just spending time together. He usually works evenings on the weekends, but he took Saturday and Sunday off so we could have both days to ourselves. We did yard work and house work, worked in our garden, built the beginnings of a fire pit, ate sushi, walked around Barnes and Noble, and drank together on the couch while watching our favorite stupid TV shows. Ah, paradise :)
Speaking of gardens, we planted one! And it's growing!!
My mom and grandma have gardened my whole life and I HATED helping out as a kid, but watching my own efforts grow and picking my own produce really is fun and rewarding. (I get it now, Mom. Sorry for being a pill when I was younger.) Right now all that's ready is lettuce and spinach, but it's still awesome to come home and eat a salad for lunch that I grew and picked with my own hands. And I'm eating organic food without even trying! (Although I hope our lack of pesticide/chemical usage doesn't come back to bite us in the butt later when we go out to the yard and discover everything has been eaten by ants or something. Oh well.)
I got to visit with my adorably pregnant friend Anna and my wonderful, delightfully snarky friend Michael earlier this week. Besides Christmas, my semi-annual Michael reunions are probably my favorite times of year! And Chris FINALLY got to meet him. Isn't it a little sad when two of the most important men in my life have never met face to face, even after I've been with the hubs for almost four years? Well we don't have to worry about that now, because they've shaken hands and made small talk and laughed at me together and all is right with the world. I love you Michael, and can't wait to see you again in another six months probably!
My younger sister is leaving to work at a Younglife camp for the next five weeks, so tonight we went to the new pizza place, il Lazzarone, with my parents to hang out and try the much-anticipated pizza. It was delicious! The staff still has several kinks to work out regarding waiting tables professionally, getting food out in a reasonable time frame, and having enough products to last the whole night (they ran out of dough both yesterday and today and had to turn away upset customers). However, the quality of the food more than makes up for it, and hopefully they'll have a good following once things slow down a bit. I'm really liking where the St. Joe food scene has been heading recently.
I can't remember the actual dates, but I have follow-up appointments with both my primary doctor and the endocrinologist in June. For the past few days, I've been trying to come up with excuses as to why I haven't lost any weight in three months. I don't have a good excuse. Did I stop trying? Is there something wrong with me that's causing all this self sabotage? I don't know. Ugh. It's a constant uphill battle. One thing I've realized about myself is that in my mind, I don't think I should have to be super strict about what I eat. I don't want to be like those weight loss success story people in Women's Day magazine who eat nothing but kale and water for a year to shed pounds. I'm hungry ALL the time. I'm not exaggerating. So why should I deprive myself of delicious things? I deserve to enjoy what I eat just as much as the next person, and just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I need to resort to something drastic and boring and terrible. Right?
Whatever. I guess we'll see once I go to the doctor. Is it awful for me to say that I kind of hope she'll prescribe me something to help give me a boost? Yeah, I know it's awful. Sorry for suggesting it. Diet pills aren't the answer, kids.
Lastly, I've decided to join Instagram. I know I'm a few years behind the times and that I used to scoff at people who had it, but it's high time I see what all the fuss is about. Plus I love food so much that maybe following healthy Instagram foodporn accounts will inspire me to try new things. Also, photographing my own food (as annoying as that can be to some people) might be a good way to hold myself accountable for the things I do eat, prompting me to rotate more greens and fresh veggies into the mix of pizzas and mac 'n cheese. Fair warning: If you decide to follow me, there will be dog pictures. Probably a lot of them. Because Chris and I's lives basically revolve around those two dinguses. My name is BWilson525, so look me up!
It has been far too long since I wrote a new post. There have been several times over the past couple weeks that I thought about it, but then was like, "Nah." I apologize for the hiatus. Since it's been such a long time, I think I'll take a page out of my friend Erin's book and write a random post just to catch up and fill space. Because I can.
(You should TOTALLY click the link for Erin's blog. She's hilarious, and her baby is adorable, and her blog is #5 on Top Mommy Blogs. Pretty impressive.)
Probably the most notable thing that's happened since I last wrote was Chris and I had our one year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's already been a year! Where has the time gone?! The month or so leading up to the date we tossed around ideas to go on a weekend trip or stay in a hotel or do something fun and off the wall. In the end, we decided to keep it low key because we don't have to have lavish gifts and celebrations to show that we still love each other. (Actually, we did it because we're poor. I'd totally live a lavish life if I could, let's be real.)
We ended up staying home most of the weekend just spending time together. He usually works evenings on the weekends, but he took Saturday and Sunday off so we could have both days to ourselves. We did yard work and house work, worked in our garden, built the beginnings of a fire pit, ate sushi, walked around Barnes and Noble, and drank together on the couch while watching our favorite stupid TV shows. Ah, paradise :)
Speaking of gardens, we planted one! And it's growing!!
.jpg) |
| It's so cute! |
 |
| Sink full o' lettuce. |
I got to visit with my adorably pregnant friend Anna and my wonderful, delightfully snarky friend Michael earlier this week. Besides Christmas, my semi-annual Michael reunions are probably my favorite times of year! And Chris FINALLY got to meet him. Isn't it a little sad when two of the most important men in my life have never met face to face, even after I've been with the hubs for almost four years? Well we don't have to worry about that now, because they've shaken hands and made small talk and laughed at me together and all is right with the world. I love you Michael, and can't wait to see you again in another six months probably!
My younger sister is leaving to work at a Younglife camp for the next five weeks, so tonight we went to the new pizza place, il Lazzarone, with my parents to hang out and try the much-anticipated pizza. It was delicious! The staff still has several kinks to work out regarding waiting tables professionally, getting food out in a reasonable time frame, and having enough products to last the whole night (they ran out of dough both yesterday and today and had to turn away upset customers). However, the quality of the food more than makes up for it, and hopefully they'll have a good following once things slow down a bit. I'm really liking where the St. Joe food scene has been heading recently.
I can't remember the actual dates, but I have follow-up appointments with both my primary doctor and the endocrinologist in June. For the past few days, I've been trying to come up with excuses as to why I haven't lost any weight in three months. I don't have a good excuse. Did I stop trying? Is there something wrong with me that's causing all this self sabotage? I don't know. Ugh. It's a constant uphill battle. One thing I've realized about myself is that in my mind, I don't think I should have to be super strict about what I eat. I don't want to be like those weight loss success story people in Women's Day magazine who eat nothing but kale and water for a year to shed pounds. I'm hungry ALL the time. I'm not exaggerating. So why should I deprive myself of delicious things? I deserve to enjoy what I eat just as much as the next person, and just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I need to resort to something drastic and boring and terrible. Right?
Whatever. I guess we'll see once I go to the doctor. Is it awful for me to say that I kind of hope she'll prescribe me something to help give me a boost? Yeah, I know it's awful. Sorry for suggesting it. Diet pills aren't the answer, kids.
Lastly, I've decided to join Instagram. I know I'm a few years behind the times and that I used to scoff at people who had it, but it's high time I see what all the fuss is about. Plus I love food so much that maybe following healthy Instagram foodporn accounts will inspire me to try new things. Also, photographing my own food (as annoying as that can be to some people) might be a good way to hold myself accountable for the things I do eat, prompting me to rotate more greens and fresh veggies into the mix of pizzas and mac 'n cheese. Fair warning: If you decide to follow me, there will be dog pictures. Probably a lot of them. Because Chris and I's lives basically revolve around those two dinguses. My name is BWilson525, so look me up!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Trying to eat clean
Earlier today I posted a rambling rant on Facebook about how frustrated I was with a clean eating meal plan I ran across. It looked quick and easy at first, but upon further inspection I discovered it contained ingredients and cooking methods that didn't seem simple at all. (Although I'm sure it was written by an elitist New York trust fund baby that works at Buzzfeed and drinks a $6 cold-pressed juice on her walk to the office every morning. No, I'm not bitter at all, why do you ask?)
All frustrations aside, I decided it was high time to refocus my dietary journey. Chris and I got a little -- well, WAY off track in April, both food-wise and money-wise. In neglecting to write out a budget for the month, we fell into some of our old spending habits. On top of that, multiple doctor and chiropractor appointments drained us of what little extra money we had, so we supplemented by buying and eating cheap, unhealthy meals. Chris bought a whole pallet of Ramen for like four bucks. Delicious, but ineffective.
The past week or so, though, I've made a few improvements that I'm quite proud of. For example, after YEARS of trying, I think I finally found a way to enjoy iced tea. I hate sickly-sweet iced tea, but unsweetened black tea is too blech for my taste buds. It turns out I was drinking the wrong color: green tea with a bit of honey is perfect! It hydrates me and also gives me a nutritious antioxidant boost. Plus, Chris swears it expands and turns into magic in your stomach to make you feel full all day so you eat less. I have noticed fewer afternoon stomach grumblies at my desk recently, so maybe he's right?
Another thing I've consciously started doing is eating more greens. And by greens, I mean spinach. Because I'm not a huge fan of kale and I'm not adventurous enough to try anything else. I interviewed an awesome guy last week who runs a health food store downtown (Jim Fly at A-Z Freshair Fare, he's one of my favorite sources!) and we discussed how people never get the right amounts of nutrients in their diets. He mentioned how greens are a nutritional powerhouse, we just need to eat more of them. At this same time Chris was attempting to start a juice fast, so our fridge was (and still is) loaded with fresh produce. Long story short, Chris got super sick over the weekend and threw up all of his juice, so he's lost the taste for it forever. (Hooray! I hate green juice! No more smelly fridge!) But we still need to figure out how to use up all our produce, including three bags of spinach, before it goes bad. In the past week I've eaten spinach salads, piled it on my sandwiches, stuffed my tuna wraps full of it, and sauteed it with garlic and olive oil. I think I'll attempt baked spinach chips and spinach and artichoke pasta in the near future. Come to find out, I'm still not sick of it yet! I feel great about eating it every time, knowing that it's doing my body good.
Our fruit and veggie surplus will probably be beneficial in other ways, because I refuse to throw out anything that could potentially become a good meal. I anticipate a veggie omelet or two soon, perhaps even another attempt at homemade vegetable stock. And while I'm kind of picky when it comes to fruit, it usually always sounds good in the morning for an on-the-go breakfast.
Besides eating better, Chris and I have decided to avoid alcohol for a while. It's part of the reason he was so sick last weekend, and it's becoming more evident that we don't really need it. Why is it necessary for us to kick back with a few beers or glasses of wine at the end of the day when it's just the two of us playing games or watching Netflix at home? As I get older, I realize more and more that alcohol is more suitable for occasional social settings rather than an everyday indulgence. It's full of empty calories too, and I suspect it's a major culprit in a lot of the weight I've gained over the past year. Don't get me wrong, I love beer and margaritas as much as the next girl, but I need to stop for a while to reevaluate my relationship with alcohol since I'm already doing it with food.
To combat my frustrations from earlier today (and to potentially give you guys healthy eating ideas, since I'm such an expert), I've decided to make a quick list of go-to ingredients I always like to keep in the house. Unlike the Buzzfeed meal plan I found so annoying, these foods don't include fancy things like tahini or avocados that no normal person keeps in their kitchen all the time. Because I'm normal. Obviously.
(And if you're wondering about the avocado thing, I firmly believe that a food that mushy has no place on my plate unless it's already in its perfect, true form: guacamole. If you try to force-feed me plain avocado halves or slices, I'll cut you.)
BROOKE'S FAVORITE HEALTHY FOODS (in no particular order, and with commentary of course, because it's me)
-Frozen peas; I love adding them to noodles (my biggest weakness) or eating a bowlful before my main course so I fill up on the good stuff first.
-Frozen corn
-Frozen broccoli
-Frozen green beans (Do you detect a theme here? Really any frozen veggie can be steamed, roasted or sauteed in a snap for a delicious side.)
-Asparagus; try to get the fresh stuff for this one, especially since it's in season right now.
-Whole grain or oat bran bread from Aldi; as cheap as generic white bread, as good for you as fancy whole grain Sara Lee.
-Tortillas; I know these technically aren't that good for you, but I love bean burritos or tuna/lunch meat wraps when I'm short on time. Plus I've downsized to the small fajita ones instead of the behemoth burrito size.
-Fat free refried beans; they taste JUST like the regular kind, I swear! Bonus points if they're the vegetarian kind that don't contain any traces of lard/other stuff. Extra bonus points if they're refried black beans, mmmmmm :)
-Clementines/tangerines/
-Bananas; though they almost always turn too brown before I can finish them all. Good thing they're always fully stocked at work!
-Apples (Same sitch as bananas. Did you like my Kim Possible reference?)
-Almonds, pecans, cashews and/or pistachios
-Lara Bars; they're the PERFECT (non)granola bar. Most contain less than six ingredients, unlike Clif Bars. Although those are good too.
-Belvita breakfast biscuits; whole grains for breakfast without having to choke down oatmeal? Score.
-Pickles (in moderation)
-Any kind of cheese, but I suppose string cheese is the healthiest snack choice.
-Tuna
-Tilapia
-Swai; I spotted it at Aldi a couple weeks ago and thought, "I don't know what it is but I'm buying it anyway." Basically it's a jumbo-sized white fish filet that tastes like a cross between catfish and tilapia. And it is CHEAP.
-Brown rice
-Spinach
-Ground turkey
-Hummus
-Tortilla chips and salsa; again, I know these aren't that healthy, but I figure they're better than potato chips. Opt for corn instead of flour.
-Skim and almond milk
-Eggs; glorious, glorious eggs! There are so many things you can do with them! For me though, they're usually scrambled in the style of Gordon Ramsay. Perfection.
-Zucchini; it's nature's most wonderful vegetable, especially when you pair it with a little Parmesan.
-Boneless, skinless chicken breast TENDERS; never buy yucky frozen chicken breasts again! Instead, spring for a ginormous package of raw tenders (we get it at Sam's Club for around $13) and divide them into a few gallon Ziploc bags at home, then pop them in the freezer. They thaw quickly, can easily be added to anything, they're the perfect amount for two people, and you generally end up eating less than if you were to eat a whole chicken breast. It's definitely the best bang for your buck.
-Pizza; JK pizza is terrible for you, but behind Chris and coffee and noodles, it's basically the love of my life.
That's about all I can think of for now. I eat/cook with these things all the time because they're fast and relatively good for you. I could do better though, so I always welcome suggestions! What are your favorite healthy foods that you think I should add to my regular grocery rotation? How do you make eating clean, real foods easier for yourself and your schedule? Lemme know!
All frustrations aside, I decided it was high time to refocus my dietary journey. Chris and I got a little -- well, WAY off track in April, both food-wise and money-wise. In neglecting to write out a budget for the month, we fell into some of our old spending habits. On top of that, multiple doctor and chiropractor appointments drained us of what little extra money we had, so we supplemented by buying and eating cheap, unhealthy meals. Chris bought a whole pallet of Ramen for like four bucks. Delicious, but ineffective.
The past week or so, though, I've made a few improvements that I'm quite proud of. For example, after YEARS of trying, I think I finally found a way to enjoy iced tea. I hate sickly-sweet iced tea, but unsweetened black tea is too blech for my taste buds. It turns out I was drinking the wrong color: green tea with a bit of honey is perfect! It hydrates me and also gives me a nutritious antioxidant boost. Plus, Chris swears it expands and turns into magic in your stomach to make you feel full all day so you eat less. I have noticed fewer afternoon stomach grumblies at my desk recently, so maybe he's right?
Another thing I've consciously started doing is eating more greens. And by greens, I mean spinach. Because I'm not a huge fan of kale and I'm not adventurous enough to try anything else. I interviewed an awesome guy last week who runs a health food store downtown (Jim Fly at A-Z Freshair Fare, he's one of my favorite sources!) and we discussed how people never get the right amounts of nutrients in their diets. He mentioned how greens are a nutritional powerhouse, we just need to eat more of them. At this same time Chris was attempting to start a juice fast, so our fridge was (and still is) loaded with fresh produce. Long story short, Chris got super sick over the weekend and threw up all of his juice, so he's lost the taste for it forever. (Hooray! I hate green juice! No more smelly fridge!) But we still need to figure out how to use up all our produce, including three bags of spinach, before it goes bad. In the past week I've eaten spinach salads, piled it on my sandwiches, stuffed my tuna wraps full of it, and sauteed it with garlic and olive oil. I think I'll attempt baked spinach chips and spinach and artichoke pasta in the near future. Come to find out, I'm still not sick of it yet! I feel great about eating it every time, knowing that it's doing my body good.
Our fruit and veggie surplus will probably be beneficial in other ways, because I refuse to throw out anything that could potentially become a good meal. I anticipate a veggie omelet or two soon, perhaps even another attempt at homemade vegetable stock. And while I'm kind of picky when it comes to fruit, it usually always sounds good in the morning for an on-the-go breakfast.
Besides eating better, Chris and I have decided to avoid alcohol for a while. It's part of the reason he was so sick last weekend, and it's becoming more evident that we don't really need it. Why is it necessary for us to kick back with a few beers or glasses of wine at the end of the day when it's just the two of us playing games or watching Netflix at home? As I get older, I realize more and more that alcohol is more suitable for occasional social settings rather than an everyday indulgence. It's full of empty calories too, and I suspect it's a major culprit in a lot of the weight I've gained over the past year. Don't get me wrong, I love beer and margaritas as much as the next girl, but I need to stop for a while to reevaluate my relationship with alcohol since I'm already doing it with food.
To combat my frustrations from earlier today (and to potentially give you guys healthy eating ideas, since I'm such an expert), I've decided to make a quick list of go-to ingredients I always like to keep in the house. Unlike the Buzzfeed meal plan I found so annoying, these foods don't include fancy things like tahini or avocados that no normal person keeps in their kitchen all the time. Because I'm normal. Obviously.
(And if you're wondering about the avocado thing, I firmly believe that a food that mushy has no place on my plate unless it's already in its perfect, true form: guacamole. If you try to force-feed me plain avocado halves or slices, I'll cut you.)
BROOKE'S FAVORITE HEALTHY FOODS (in no particular order, and with commentary of course, because it's me)
-Frozen peas; I love adding them to noodles (my biggest weakness) or eating a bowlful before my main course so I fill up on the good stuff first.
-Frozen corn
-Frozen broccoli
-Frozen green beans (Do you detect a theme here? Really any frozen veggie can be steamed, roasted or sauteed in a snap for a delicious side.)
-Asparagus; try to get the fresh stuff for this one, especially since it's in season right now.
-Whole grain or oat bran bread from Aldi; as cheap as generic white bread, as good for you as fancy whole grain Sara Lee.
-Tortillas; I know these technically aren't that good for you, but I love bean burritos or tuna/lunch meat wraps when I'm short on time. Plus I've downsized to the small fajita ones instead of the behemoth burrito size.
-Fat free refried beans; they taste JUST like the regular kind, I swear! Bonus points if they're the vegetarian kind that don't contain any traces of lard/other stuff. Extra bonus points if they're refried black beans, mmmmmm :)
-Clementines/tangerines/
-Bananas; though they almost always turn too brown before I can finish them all. Good thing they're always fully stocked at work!
-Apples (Same sitch as bananas. Did you like my Kim Possible reference?)
-Almonds, pecans, cashews and/or pistachios
-Lara Bars; they're the PERFECT (non)granola bar. Most contain less than six ingredients, unlike Clif Bars. Although those are good too.
-Belvita breakfast biscuits; whole grains for breakfast without having to choke down oatmeal? Score.
-Pickles (in moderation)
-Any kind of cheese, but I suppose string cheese is the healthiest snack choice.
-Tuna
-Tilapia
-Swai; I spotted it at Aldi a couple weeks ago and thought, "I don't know what it is but I'm buying it anyway." Basically it's a jumbo-sized white fish filet that tastes like a cross between catfish and tilapia. And it is CHEAP.
-Brown rice
-Spinach
-Ground turkey
-Hummus
-Tortilla chips and salsa; again, I know these aren't that healthy, but I figure they're better than potato chips. Opt for corn instead of flour.
-Skim and almond milk
-Eggs; glorious, glorious eggs! There are so many things you can do with them! For me though, they're usually scrambled in the style of Gordon Ramsay. Perfection.
-Zucchini; it's nature's most wonderful vegetable, especially when you pair it with a little Parmesan.
-Boneless, skinless chicken breast TENDERS; never buy yucky frozen chicken breasts again! Instead, spring for a ginormous package of raw tenders (we get it at Sam's Club for around $13) and divide them into a few gallon Ziploc bags at home, then pop them in the freezer. They thaw quickly, can easily be added to anything, they're the perfect amount for two people, and you generally end up eating less than if you were to eat a whole chicken breast. It's definitely the best bang for your buck.
-Pizza; JK pizza is terrible for you, but behind Chris and coffee and noodles, it's basically the love of my life.
That's about all I can think of for now. I eat/cook with these things all the time because they're fast and relatively good for you. I could do better though, so I always welcome suggestions! What are your favorite healthy foods that you think I should add to my regular grocery rotation? How do you make eating clean, real foods easier for yourself and your schedule? Lemme know!
Monday, April 21, 2014
Ready to Read
I have an embarrassing confession.
Even though I graduated with an English degree in December 2012, I haven't read a new book cover-to-cover since then. Yep, you heard right. I'm an English major who doesn't read anymore. Isn't that so sad?!
That's not to say I haven't attempted it. Though the number is pretty small, I have made a few valiant attempts to try.
When I was a kid, I DEVOURED books. I was the weird quiet kid that always had something glued to her face at school, at home, at family gatherings, at sporting events. My family once got rear-ended by a mini van while we were on vacation, and I didn't notice because I was reading Shiloh and the plot was getting pretty intense. True story.
When I went to college, becoming an English major seemed obvious because I was all like, "Hey, I like books! I can write good! I'll just keep doing that!"
Well, it's quite possible that that decision is part of my current problem. While I absolutely loved my college education and had magnificent professors in Truman's English department, reading 20-40 books per semester really killed my interest in reading for pleasure. I had to learn how to skim, speed read, and fudge my way through assignments because I didn't have enough time or energy to complete everything. Even the ones I was really, really interested in barely got my full attention. I couldn't tell you what happens at the end of The Night Circus because I didn't get that far.
In struggling with my weight issues this year, I've realized that some of my motivation to exercise and eat right has to come from a place that is unrelated to weight. I've gotten too complacent and comfortable with the work-eat-Netflix-sleep-repeat cycle I've been on for a year and a half. Don't get me wrong, Chris and I still do interesting things other than spend all night on the couch, but those moments are few and far between some weeks.
If I want to change my diet and activity habits, it will probably help to change some of my other habits as well. I should spend more time outside. I should choose books over TV and movies when I'm feeling lazy. I should put more effort into running errands and finishing household chores BEFORE I dive into Netflix mode late at night.
I got a new library card after work today for a location that's closer to my house, and came out with a few selections that hopefully will peak my interest. If so, I'm seriously considering looking into Kindle/tablet prices to make reading easier and more convenient. (As I've mentioned before, I'm incredibly lazy.) However, I'm always open to new suggestions! If you have a book you absolutely love and think that I would too, please let me know in the comment section or on Facebook! You don't know how much I'd appreciate it!
Even though I graduated with an English degree in December 2012, I haven't read a new book cover-to-cover since then. Yep, you heard right. I'm an English major who doesn't read anymore. Isn't that so sad?!
That's not to say I haven't attempted it. Though the number is pretty small, I have made a few valiant attempts to try.
- My boss gave me a free copy of Gone Girl last spring but I stopped in the middle because a lot of people were giving it bad reviews. (Apparently it's a love-it-or-hate-it book.)
- A friend sent me a non-fiction self help/memoir book (The Happiness Project) that I was super excited to start, but I can't concentrate on it for more than a few pages so I'm stuck in chapter 3. (I find the author's tone a little haughty.)
- Another friend lent me a reputable diet and nutrition book that has awesome advice and pictures, so of course all I paid attention to was the pictures.
- My husband is horrified that I've still never read The Hobbit all the way through so he bought me a beautifully illustrated version for Easter. When we both sat outside for an hour reading and enjoying the nice weather the other day, I only got to page 25. I just kept reading the same sentences over and over every time something distracted me.
When I was a kid, I DEVOURED books. I was the weird quiet kid that always had something glued to her face at school, at home, at family gatherings, at sporting events. My family once got rear-ended by a mini van while we were on vacation, and I didn't notice because I was reading Shiloh and the plot was getting pretty intense. True story.
When I went to college, becoming an English major seemed obvious because I was all like, "Hey, I like books! I can write good! I'll just keep doing that!"
Well, it's quite possible that that decision is part of my current problem. While I absolutely loved my college education and had magnificent professors in Truman's English department, reading 20-40 books per semester really killed my interest in reading for pleasure. I had to learn how to skim, speed read, and fudge my way through assignments because I didn't have enough time or energy to complete everything. Even the ones I was really, really interested in barely got my full attention. I couldn't tell you what happens at the end of The Night Circus because I didn't get that far.
In struggling with my weight issues this year, I've realized that some of my motivation to exercise and eat right has to come from a place that is unrelated to weight. I've gotten too complacent and comfortable with the work-eat-Netflix-sleep-repeat cycle I've been on for a year and a half. Don't get me wrong, Chris and I still do interesting things other than spend all night on the couch, but those moments are few and far between some weeks.
If I want to change my diet and activity habits, it will probably help to change some of my other habits as well. I should spend more time outside. I should choose books over TV and movies when I'm feeling lazy. I should put more effort into running errands and finishing household chores BEFORE I dive into Netflix mode late at night.
I got a new library card after work today for a location that's closer to my house, and came out with a few selections that hopefully will peak my interest. If so, I'm seriously considering looking into Kindle/tablet prices to make reading easier and more convenient. (As I've mentioned before, I'm incredibly lazy.) However, I'm always open to new suggestions! If you have a book you absolutely love and think that I would too, please let me know in the comment section or on Facebook! You don't know how much I'd appreciate it!
Friday, April 18, 2014
Thyroid shmyroid
Well I went to see an endocrinology specialist today, and his main piece of advice was, "More salads."
Kidding. He did say that, but he also noted that I am teetering on the edge of needing to take thyroid and/or diabetes medication if I don't get my weight under control. Ouch. He also did an ultrasound on my thyroid, which confirmed his suspicions that it is inflamed. I had yet another round of blood work done -- six whole vials! I don't really know what they were for at this point, but I assume it's to look at some numbers more closely. Then it's just exercise and eat right until both he and my primary doctor can see me again for a follow-up in three months.
This morning was pretty stressful for me. I'm glad nothing looks too serious at this point, but I really don't want to start taking any medication. I left the doctor's office feeling stressed out and frustrated. I may or may not have cried on the drive to work.
I realize that although I've been doing okay with eating better, I need to keep improving instead of stagnating or allowing myself too much extra junk food at night just because I ate a salad for lunch. I also need to get serious with exercise. Chris and I have a lot of gardening and yard work plans this spring, which helps a lot, but it won't be enough to show true improvement unless I'm diligent about working out every day. With another dog to walk (who's much more vocal about his yearning to go outside), that will be a nice boost of motivation, I suppose.
At this point what I really need is something or someone that will encourage me and push me to get moving. The call of the couch and the Netflix menu is so hard to resist, especially after a stressful day, but I can't remain stagnant if I want to get healthier. Obviously. Why is it that obvious things are so hard for me? Siiiiigh. If anyone wants to take the position of my personal life coach, the job is open.
Kidding. He did say that, but he also noted that I am teetering on the edge of needing to take thyroid and/or diabetes medication if I don't get my weight under control. Ouch. He also did an ultrasound on my thyroid, which confirmed his suspicions that it is inflamed. I had yet another round of blood work done -- six whole vials! I don't really know what they were for at this point, but I assume it's to look at some numbers more closely. Then it's just exercise and eat right until both he and my primary doctor can see me again for a follow-up in three months.
This morning was pretty stressful for me. I'm glad nothing looks too serious at this point, but I really don't want to start taking any medication. I left the doctor's office feeling stressed out and frustrated. I may or may not have cried on the drive to work.
I realize that although I've been doing okay with eating better, I need to keep improving instead of stagnating or allowing myself too much extra junk food at night just because I ate a salad for lunch. I also need to get serious with exercise. Chris and I have a lot of gardening and yard work plans this spring, which helps a lot, but it won't be enough to show true improvement unless I'm diligent about working out every day. With another dog to walk (who's much more vocal about his yearning to go outside), that will be a nice boost of motivation, I suppose.
At this point what I really need is something or someone that will encourage me and push me to get moving. The call of the couch and the Netflix menu is so hard to resist, especially after a stressful day, but I can't remain stagnant if I want to get healthier. Obviously. Why is it that obvious things are so hard for me? Siiiiigh. If anyone wants to take the position of my personal life coach, the job is open.
Friday, April 11, 2014
The past couple days have been a pain in the NECK! Get it?
Well, I'm out of commission this morning due to some wrenched neck muscles. Add that to tire troubles yesterday, and this has just not been my week! But at least it gives me a little time to finally catch up on blogging before the chiropractor's office opens. You all know how terrible I am at updates, so I appreciate you bearing with me and waiting with bated breath for my next post. (Ha.)
I went to my one-month weigh in and checkup with my doctor last Wednesday, where she explained the results of all the blood they had to take. Overall, I'm a pretty healthy person! No cholesterol or blood pressure problems, no anemia, no diabetes (though the numbers were on the high side of normal and I have a family history of the condition, so I'll need to watch it) and I've lost a total of about 6 pounds since last month through just counting calories. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.
The one area she found troubling was the same issue I had back in high school that turned out to be a non-issue. Some slightly abnormal numbers indicated a possible thyroid condition, though nothing seemed immediately alarming. She wants me to see an endocrinology specialist next week -- the same specialist I saw when I was 18 -- so he can check for himself and make sure I don't have hypo/hyperthyroidism. (I don't really know the difference between the two.) My guess is that he'll say there's nothing wrong...again. However, I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry. Too bad it'll be a $30 co-pay for him to tell me to lose some more weight, eat healthier, and that he'll "keep an eye on it."
In terms of eating healthier, losing a few pounds really has motivated me to continue on this path. Having never owned a scale before, weighing myself was scary and terrible at first, but watching the numbers go down is exciting. Like always, some days are better than others in terms of eating right, but it's starting to feel more normal to cook and eat healthy things on the regular rather than having maaaayyybe one healthy meal a week. I'll give myself a pat on the back for that!
That's about it. Oh, and Chris and I adopted another dog last week. He's a lovable St. Bernard mix with a big bark and a gentle personality. His name is Bingley. (From the Pride and Prejudice movie, where Mr. Bingley is tall and awkward and has red hair. Great name, huh? We're nerds.) Lookie at how cute:
We also finished our Dave Ramsey class and we loved it. We learned a lot and hopefully will be able to figure out how to apply it to our lives in a way that works best for us. Right now we're mostly focused on finishing paying off our last credit card, taking care of our bills on time, and saving money. I'm glad we're doing this now, rather than dealing with a financial crisis ten years from now and relying on the class as a last-ditch attempt to avoid the poor house. I like using old-timey metaphors.
Okay, that really is it. See you later!
I went to my one-month weigh in and checkup with my doctor last Wednesday, where she explained the results of all the blood they had to take. Overall, I'm a pretty healthy person! No cholesterol or blood pressure problems, no anemia, no diabetes (though the numbers were on the high side of normal and I have a family history of the condition, so I'll need to watch it) and I've lost a total of about 6 pounds since last month through just counting calories. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.
The one area she found troubling was the same issue I had back in high school that turned out to be a non-issue. Some slightly abnormal numbers indicated a possible thyroid condition, though nothing seemed immediately alarming. She wants me to see an endocrinology specialist next week -- the same specialist I saw when I was 18 -- so he can check for himself and make sure I don't have hypo/hyperthyroidism. (I don't really know the difference between the two.) My guess is that he'll say there's nothing wrong...again. However, I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry. Too bad it'll be a $30 co-pay for him to tell me to lose some more weight, eat healthier, and that he'll "keep an eye on it."
In terms of eating healthier, losing a few pounds really has motivated me to continue on this path. Having never owned a scale before, weighing myself was scary and terrible at first, but watching the numbers go down is exciting. Like always, some days are better than others in terms of eating right, but it's starting to feel more normal to cook and eat healthy things on the regular rather than having maaaayyybe one healthy meal a week. I'll give myself a pat on the back for that!
That's about it. Oh, and Chris and I adopted another dog last week. He's a lovable St. Bernard mix with a big bark and a gentle personality. His name is Bingley. (From the Pride and Prejudice movie, where Mr. Bingley is tall and awkward and has red hair. Great name, huh? We're nerds.) Lookie at how cute:
 |
| This is the shelter photo. I liked the bandana. |
Okay, that really is it. See you later!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Weekends
Hi everyone!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It's been a busy couple of weeks (everybody uses that as their excuse, right?) and I haven't had much to say. But this weekend has been wonderful and I want to brag about it.
I love the weekends, for obvious reasons, but the past two days were especially great. Chris and I haven't really done anything that exciting. We took Moe to go get a bath, ran errands, worked outside in the yard, and made homemade fondue. He had today off, which is rare on Sundays, so we took advantage of our extra time together to do grown-up things like shop around town for an area rug and pull weed barrier fabric out of our garden plot. I love that it's the seemingly boring, everyday things that make being married so fun. I also got to spend time with friends last night and we ate a yummy steak lunch with family this afternoon, so those were just bonuses to an already great couple of days.
I know this post isn't much. I just want to express how thankful and happy I am that this weekend was full of laughter and productivity. I think we're kind of getting the hang of this whole adulthood thing. We've got to be if we think wandering around town looking at area rug prices is fun, right?
Speaking of adulthood, a quick update about weight loss stuff: I got some blood work done last Friday and I go in for a follow-up appointment next Friday (I think?). So far I've lost about 5 pounds this month, which isn't too shabby considering some days I really screw up my calorie count and I haven't been exercising regularly. That's about to change, though, because Chris is teaming up with me and we are starting an exercise routine together tomorrow morning. It will just be walking and light weight training at first, but I'm so happy he's doing it with me! He wrote the plan himself and put the schedule on a big fridge calendar, so I guess that means he's pretty serious. Hopefully this will be another push I need in the right direction. I think doing it with someone else instead of doing it alone is going to be infinitely more enjoyable :)
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It's been a busy couple of weeks (everybody uses that as their excuse, right?) and I haven't had much to say. But this weekend has been wonderful and I want to brag about it.
I love the weekends, for obvious reasons, but the past two days were especially great. Chris and I haven't really done anything that exciting. We took Moe to go get a bath, ran errands, worked outside in the yard, and made homemade fondue. He had today off, which is rare on Sundays, so we took advantage of our extra time together to do grown-up things like shop around town for an area rug and pull weed barrier fabric out of our garden plot. I love that it's the seemingly boring, everyday things that make being married so fun. I also got to spend time with friends last night and we ate a yummy steak lunch with family this afternoon, so those were just bonuses to an already great couple of days.
I know this post isn't much. I just want to express how thankful and happy I am that this weekend was full of laughter and productivity. I think we're kind of getting the hang of this whole adulthood thing. We've got to be if we think wandering around town looking at area rug prices is fun, right?
Speaking of adulthood, a quick update about weight loss stuff: I got some blood work done last Friday and I go in for a follow-up appointment next Friday (I think?). So far I've lost about 5 pounds this month, which isn't too shabby considering some days I really screw up my calorie count and I haven't been exercising regularly. That's about to change, though, because Chris is teaming up with me and we are starting an exercise routine together tomorrow morning. It will just be walking and light weight training at first, but I'm so happy he's doing it with me! He wrote the plan himself and put the schedule on a big fridge calendar, so I guess that means he's pretty serious. Hopefully this will be another push I need in the right direction. I think doing it with someone else instead of doing it alone is going to be infinitely more enjoyable :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Duh
I had a mini epiphany this morning. No, it wasn't life changing, but it was enough to get me thinking.
For over two weeks now, I've been tracking my calories, writing down what I eat in a food journal, and weighing myself (almost) every day. In case my last post wasn't enough of an indication, it hasn't been fun. Feeling like a slave to a number and having minor anxiety any time I eat something feels a little demeaning, and not seeing the number go down on the scale is disheartening. But perhaps I've been going about it all wrong.
So far, I haven't really eaten “diet” food. Instead, I've mostly been eating what I normally would eat, but just trying to make the portions smaller and stay under the 2,000 calorie limit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I took this approach partly because I wasn't ready to give up my favorite foods yet and I wanted to figure out a way to make calorie counting work without restricting myself too severely. But I also wanted to track my regular eating patterns to give the doctor an idea of what I normally eat, rather than look like a dieting angel on paper even if I don't normally eat that way.
Back to this morning: I was driving to work and I felt awful because of the combination of alcohol and corned beef in my system. I could almost hear my stomach contents sloshing around. I realized that the reason I felt so bad was 100% my own fault because of binging on greasy food the night before. Granted, it was a holiday, and who doesn't want corned beef and potatoes on St. Patrick's Day? But a friend had also brought asparagus and a spinach salad. Equally delicious and much healthier. Had I eaten more of that and less of the other stuff, I probably wouldn't have had all the nasty side effects the next day.
But then what do I do after having these thoughts? Get a greasy fast food breakfast to soak up all the leftover alcohol, of course! Ugh. It looks like that college trick no longer works on me. It tasted good, but I didn't feel any better.
Now, when I say I haven't changed my eating habits, I don't mean that I normally eat all junk all the time. I choose fruit and cottage cheese and veggies as sides instead of chips. I drink water almost exclusively, save for my morning coffee and my occasional late night alcoholic beverages. I cook with a lot of vegetables and lean proteins, and I try to pick healthy menu options when I go out. But I don't intentionally buy or cook items that have proven health benefits if there's an easier, faster, fattier option more readily available. So when I decided on the drive home to start making changes to make calorie counting less terrible, it was a huge DUH moment.
At work, I read an article about 24 healthy food swaps that are easy and cheap. For instance: I LOVE cheese and crackers. I can eat them any time of day or night. One of the first suggestions in the article? Swap out the crackers for apple slices. Um ... obviously. Why didn't I think of that? I'm notorious for buying a bag of apples and then letting half go to waste because I never know what to do with them. If I eat apple slices instead of crackers, I still get my cheese, plus an additional boost of fiber and vitamins, minus all the refined carbs.
There aren't any more excuses for me to not be eating healthier things. I'm already accustomed to buying brown rice, so I might as well make the swap to quinoa. I have packets of flax meal in my cabinet I could very easily add to my morning oatmeal. I like poppy seeds, so I'm sure adding chia seeds to meals won't be that big of an adjustment. I love pasta, but I might as well try spaghetti squash to see what all the fuss is about. Why do I cook with butter when I could cook with the coconut oil languishing behind the soup cans? I work across the street from a health food store. There's no reason I can't stock up on things there before heading home instead of trekking all the way out to Hy-Vee, right?
And on that note, I need to stop making excuses for not exercising or waking up earlier, either. One of the reasons I go without breakfast or get crap from the drive-thru is because I don't have much time in the mornings to make something. If I woke up just a half hour earlier, I could cook a healthy bowl of oatmeal or an egg and veggie scramble before I shower. I might even be able to fit in a morning walk. Revolutionary!
I need to quit thinking that I'm still in college. Part of being an adult is making responsible adult decisions. They're not always fun, but they count. Here's to turning over a new leaf.
For over two weeks now, I've been tracking my calories, writing down what I eat in a food journal, and weighing myself (almost) every day. In case my last post wasn't enough of an indication, it hasn't been fun. Feeling like a slave to a number and having minor anxiety any time I eat something feels a little demeaning, and not seeing the number go down on the scale is disheartening. But perhaps I've been going about it all wrong.
So far, I haven't really eaten “diet” food. Instead, I've mostly been eating what I normally would eat, but just trying to make the portions smaller and stay under the 2,000 calorie limit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I took this approach partly because I wasn't ready to give up my favorite foods yet and I wanted to figure out a way to make calorie counting work without restricting myself too severely. But I also wanted to track my regular eating patterns to give the doctor an idea of what I normally eat, rather than look like a dieting angel on paper even if I don't normally eat that way.
Back to this morning: I was driving to work and I felt awful because of the combination of alcohol and corned beef in my system. I could almost hear my stomach contents sloshing around. I realized that the reason I felt so bad was 100% my own fault because of binging on greasy food the night before. Granted, it was a holiday, and who doesn't want corned beef and potatoes on St. Patrick's Day? But a friend had also brought asparagus and a spinach salad. Equally delicious and much healthier. Had I eaten more of that and less of the other stuff, I probably wouldn't have had all the nasty side effects the next day.
But then what do I do after having these thoughts? Get a greasy fast food breakfast to soak up all the leftover alcohol, of course! Ugh. It looks like that college trick no longer works on me. It tasted good, but I didn't feel any better.
Now, when I say I haven't changed my eating habits, I don't mean that I normally eat all junk all the time. I choose fruit and cottage cheese and veggies as sides instead of chips. I drink water almost exclusively, save for my morning coffee and my occasional late night alcoholic beverages. I cook with a lot of vegetables and lean proteins, and I try to pick healthy menu options when I go out. But I don't intentionally buy or cook items that have proven health benefits if there's an easier, faster, fattier option more readily available. So when I decided on the drive home to start making changes to make calorie counting less terrible, it was a huge DUH moment.
At work, I read an article about 24 healthy food swaps that are easy and cheap. For instance: I LOVE cheese and crackers. I can eat them any time of day or night. One of the first suggestions in the article? Swap out the crackers for apple slices. Um ... obviously. Why didn't I think of that? I'm notorious for buying a bag of apples and then letting half go to waste because I never know what to do with them. If I eat apple slices instead of crackers, I still get my cheese, plus an additional boost of fiber and vitamins, minus all the refined carbs.
There aren't any more excuses for me to not be eating healthier things. I'm already accustomed to buying brown rice, so I might as well make the swap to quinoa. I have packets of flax meal in my cabinet I could very easily add to my morning oatmeal. I like poppy seeds, so I'm sure adding chia seeds to meals won't be that big of an adjustment. I love pasta, but I might as well try spaghetti squash to see what all the fuss is about. Why do I cook with butter when I could cook with the coconut oil languishing behind the soup cans? I work across the street from a health food store. There's no reason I can't stock up on things there before heading home instead of trekking all the way out to Hy-Vee, right?
And on that note, I need to stop making excuses for not exercising or waking up earlier, either. One of the reasons I go without breakfast or get crap from the drive-thru is because I don't have much time in the mornings to make something. If I woke up just a half hour earlier, I could cook a healthy bowl of oatmeal or an egg and veggie scramble before I shower. I might even be able to fit in a morning walk. Revolutionary!
I need to quit thinking that I'm still in college. Part of being an adult is making responsible adult decisions. They're not always fun, but they count. Here's to turning over a new leaf.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Let me tell you something about counting calories
It's awful.
I don't like having to look up every food I eat and make an educated guess of which calorie amount is maybe, probably the right one. I don't like keeping track of every morsel and crumb that goes into my mouth. I don't like staring at My Fitness Pal at the end of the day and seeing that I went over my calorie limit. I don't like having to decide whether to lie about what I ate so I can fit in that extra Girl Scout Cookie at midnight, or just go ahead and eat it and face the calorie consequences in my food journal.
I think I understand now why yo-yo dieters and food and fitness experts seem crazy: because they are. No one willingly subjects themselves to this particular kind of torture and enjoys it. If you do, there's something seriously wrong with you.
Okay, I guess it isn't really torture. But still. For years, I've been heavily resistant to calorie counts or point systems like Weight Watchers because the whole process seemed maddening, and I'd seen too many friends and family members fail in their goals and beat themselves up about it. Now that I'm the one in the doctor's chair and I know that doing these things is all part of the plan, it's hard to do it with a smile on my face. At least not this weekend, when there are food temptations everywhere I turn and I can't bring myself to add everything up at the end of the day. This process wasn't hard at first, but the longer I go, the more it annoys me.
I guess I'll continue writing everything down and tapping away at my phone app (because I have to), but I'm still not convinced this is the best way to go about losing weight or living life. What do I know, though? I mean, have you seen me?
Alright, I'm done complaining. Sorry for subjecting you all to my frustration. This definitely warrants me to start reading The Happiness Project tomorrow, since it finally came in the mail! Maybe there's something in there that will help me change my attitude.
I don't like having to look up every food I eat and make an educated guess of which calorie amount is maybe, probably the right one. I don't like keeping track of every morsel and crumb that goes into my mouth. I don't like staring at My Fitness Pal at the end of the day and seeing that I went over my calorie limit. I don't like having to decide whether to lie about what I ate so I can fit in that extra Girl Scout Cookie at midnight, or just go ahead and eat it and face the calorie consequences in my food journal.
I think I understand now why yo-yo dieters and food and fitness experts seem crazy: because they are. No one willingly subjects themselves to this particular kind of torture and enjoys it. If you do, there's something seriously wrong with you.
Okay, I guess it isn't really torture. But still. For years, I've been heavily resistant to calorie counts or point systems like Weight Watchers because the whole process seemed maddening, and I'd seen too many friends and family members fail in their goals and beat themselves up about it. Now that I'm the one in the doctor's chair and I know that doing these things is all part of the plan, it's hard to do it with a smile on my face. At least not this weekend, when there are food temptations everywhere I turn and I can't bring myself to add everything up at the end of the day. This process wasn't hard at first, but the longer I go, the more it annoys me.
I guess I'll continue writing everything down and tapping away at my phone app (because I have to), but I'm still not convinced this is the best way to go about losing weight or living life. What do I know, though? I mean, have you seen me?
Alright, I'm done complaining. Sorry for subjecting you all to my frustration. This definitely warrants me to start reading The Happiness Project tomorrow, since it finally came in the mail! Maybe there's something in there that will help me change my attitude.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Doctor's orders
Like I said last time, I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday morning to get established with my new doctor and talk to her about making a weight loss plan for myself.
Thankfully, the appointment went really well and I love my doctor. She is kind, funny, attentive, and understanding. I told her how I've struggled with my weight for most of my life, and am at a place where I can't keep trying to do things on my own since that obviously hasn't worked well in the past. Despite my weight, I'm generally a very healthy person, but I can't keep kidding myself that normal blood pressure equals perfect health. Gotta make a change somewhere.
She told me that on average, if a person adds a zero onto the end of whatever they weigh, that's usually how many calories they eat in a day. For me, that would mean I was probably eating around 2,770 calories (on days when I wasn't tracking them). When I would use My Fitness Pal, I was restricting myself to not enough calories, so my body was basically going into "starvation mode" and holding onto my fat cells, hence why I wasn't seeing any weight loss.
For now, the thing she thinks I need most is accountability. She told me to set my calorie goal at 2,000 a day and to write down everything I eat and drink in a food journal. I also have to weigh myself every day to track pounds gained or lost, which isn't so fun, but I guess it's necessary. I've tried journaling in the past and never lasted very long because no one was checking up on me, but since it's doctor's orders this time, I'm being a lot more diligent. I'll go in for a weigh-in with her every month so she can check my progress, and once my diet is better, that's when she'll start talking to me about exercise. (She recommended starting with diet first so I don't get overwhelmed, but I'm still walking and doing light exercise in the meantime.) I'm also getting blood work done later in the month just to rule out any other underlying health problems.
I wasn't the only one who had a doctor's appointment last Thursday. Chris got a checkup with his doctor too, partially because he'd been having some stomach problems, but also because he wants to get healthier just as much as I do. It's so encouraging to know that he is supportive and wants to be right there with me in terms of losing weight and eating better. I really lucked out with this one.
So far, I've noticed that I eat more than I thought I did. In the four days I've tracked my patterns, I've gone a couple hundred calories above 2,000 every time. I don't mean to, but since I'm trying to be as honest as possible, it's kind of embarrassing. I keep forgetting that anything I drink that isn't water contains a bunch of calories too, so those two or three glasses of wine I had Friday night put me over the edge without realizing it. I suppose that's the point of the journal in the first place though -- it forces you to see everything you eat and drink so that you're more aware of mindless snacking and drinking habits.
I'm optimistic about this type of slow, steady progress, partly because it takes a little bit of pressure off me. If nothing else, I hope I weigh at least a few pounds less than I do now at April's appointment!
Thankfully, the appointment went really well and I love my doctor. She is kind, funny, attentive, and understanding. I told her how I've struggled with my weight for most of my life, and am at a place where I can't keep trying to do things on my own since that obviously hasn't worked well in the past. Despite my weight, I'm generally a very healthy person, but I can't keep kidding myself that normal blood pressure equals perfect health. Gotta make a change somewhere.
She told me that on average, if a person adds a zero onto the end of whatever they weigh, that's usually how many calories they eat in a day. For me, that would mean I was probably eating around 2,770 calories (on days when I wasn't tracking them). When I would use My Fitness Pal, I was restricting myself to not enough calories, so my body was basically going into "starvation mode" and holding onto my fat cells, hence why I wasn't seeing any weight loss.
For now, the thing she thinks I need most is accountability. She told me to set my calorie goal at 2,000 a day and to write down everything I eat and drink in a food journal. I also have to weigh myself every day to track pounds gained or lost, which isn't so fun, but I guess it's necessary. I've tried journaling in the past and never lasted very long because no one was checking up on me, but since it's doctor's orders this time, I'm being a lot more diligent. I'll go in for a weigh-in with her every month so she can check my progress, and once my diet is better, that's when she'll start talking to me about exercise. (She recommended starting with diet first so I don't get overwhelmed, but I'm still walking and doing light exercise in the meantime.) I'm also getting blood work done later in the month just to rule out any other underlying health problems.
I wasn't the only one who had a doctor's appointment last Thursday. Chris got a checkup with his doctor too, partially because he'd been having some stomach problems, but also because he wants to get healthier just as much as I do. It's so encouraging to know that he is supportive and wants to be right there with me in terms of losing weight and eating better. I really lucked out with this one.
So far, I've noticed that I eat more than I thought I did. In the four days I've tracked my patterns, I've gone a couple hundred calories above 2,000 every time. I don't mean to, but since I'm trying to be as honest as possible, it's kind of embarrassing. I keep forgetting that anything I drink that isn't water contains a bunch of calories too, so those two or three glasses of wine I had Friday night put me over the edge without realizing it. I suppose that's the point of the journal in the first place though -- it forces you to see everything you eat and drink so that you're more aware of mindless snacking and drinking habits.
I'm optimistic about this type of slow, steady progress, partly because it takes a little bit of pressure off me. If nothing else, I hope I weigh at least a few pounds less than I do now at April's appointment!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Short and sweet
It might have been Monday yesterday, but this week has already been off to a great start:
-On Sunday I ate dinner and watched the first half of the Oscars with my whole family (minus the hubs). It was delicious and really fun; plus I had access to cable, so I didn't feel totally out of the loop reading all the Oscars updates the next day.
-I have a very slim work load this week, which is a welcome relief compared to the past couple months of seemingly non-stop deadlines.
-I've recently been texting a few different friends I don't normally get to talk to very often. Some I've made plans with, others I've just exchanged words of encouragement with. It's such a nice feeling. People who say texting isn't real communication have no idea how great it is to read an unexpected positive message from someone you care about!
-I spent yesterday evening with one of my best friends eating pizza, baking cookies, drinking cocktails, and watching movies. Who doesn't love that??
-I'm babysitting a little cutie pie named Sawyer tonight, and babies make everything better.
In my last post, I said I'm trying to be more intentional about focusing on things in life that make me happy. Let's just add all of the above to that list. I'm eagerly awaiting my copy of “The Happiness Project” in the mail and looking forward to having a frank conversation with my doctor at Thursday's appointment, so hopefully all these positive vibes will continue through the week! I hope you all have a great Monday too :)
-On Sunday I ate dinner and watched the first half of the Oscars with my whole family (minus the hubs). It was delicious and really fun; plus I had access to cable, so I didn't feel totally out of the loop reading all the Oscars updates the next day.
-I have a very slim work load this week, which is a welcome relief compared to the past couple months of seemingly non-stop deadlines.
-I've recently been texting a few different friends I don't normally get to talk to very often. Some I've made plans with, others I've just exchanged words of encouragement with. It's such a nice feeling. People who say texting isn't real communication have no idea how great it is to read an unexpected positive message from someone you care about!
-I spent yesterday evening with one of my best friends eating pizza, baking cookies, drinking cocktails, and watching movies. Who doesn't love that??
-I'm babysitting a little cutie pie named Sawyer tonight, and babies make everything better.
In my last post, I said I'm trying to be more intentional about focusing on things in life that make me happy. Let's just add all of the above to that list. I'm eagerly awaiting my copy of “The Happiness Project” in the mail and looking forward to having a frank conversation with my doctor at Thursday's appointment, so hopefully all these positive vibes will continue through the week! I hope you all have a great Monday too :)
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Things I like
My previous post was a drag. I know it, you know it, let's move on.
Today, I want to take a minute to dote on one of my oldest and dearest friends, Michael Raymond. We inexplicably became great friends in high school after participating in school musicals together. I'm so grateful for those moments, because otherwise, I'm not sure we would have even known each other existed. Over the years, our relationship has grown and matured into something I think every person my age hopes to achieve one day – we don't get to see or talk to each other often (he lives in New York), but when we do it's as if no time has passed.
He started his own blog around the same time I did and it's really wonderful. You should read it. (It also has the best, most fitting name ever: “That Guy.” Hilarious.) The main goal of his blog is to help him find out what happiness means to him and how to show it in his daily life. (There also are a lot of musical theatre references I don't understand, but that's okay; it's his job.) As part of this journey, he read the book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubins, and since he follows my blog and knows about my own struggles, he is now sending me a copy in the mail. I'm so excited :)
One thing he's started doing is intentionally sharing at least one thing each day that relates to his happiness journey. Sometimes it's pausing for a moment to reflect and be thankful for the the things he has; other times it's posting a silly song or music video on his Facebook page. It tickles me every time.
Something else he did recently was post a list of things he likes on his blog. As simple as it sounds, it was revolutionary to me. Of course there are lots of things in my life that make me happy, but when was the last time I acknowledged them? When was the last time I had done any of them, even when I know they put me in a good mood? Instead of focusing on what I love, I fixate on what I dislike. Today, that's not going to happen.
In the spirit of opening myself up to new experiences and finding better ways to combat my frustrations, here is MY list of likes. I fully intend on doing more of these things more often so I can be a source of positivity to myself and to others. Hopefully this will inspire you to create your own, too!
THINGS I LIKE:
-Going on long, leisurely walks -- with my dog, with friends, with my husband, in neighborhoods, on nature trails, in parks. Really anywhere.
-Getting manicures and pedicures
-Watching Netflix (though I should do less of that)
-Watching and listening to stand-up comedy
-Going on fun, simple dates that still feel adventurous, like picnics in the park
-Completing a recipe I've never cooked before. Successfully, that is.
-Actually, cooking anything
-Making crafts, even though I don't do it nearly enough (I want to learn how to paint!)
-Having long, meaningful, meandering conversations with friends
-Coffee
-Pizza
-Being outside in nature. I was that kid who wanted to live in the forest with fairies and chipmunks because I watched movies like “Merlin” and “Robin Hood” and “Hook” at an impressionable age.
-Dogs (except pugs and bulldogs because I think they're ugly and they make disgusting noises)
I know there are a lot more, but this feels like a good start. I'm really looking forward to reading "The Happiness Project" and figuring out my own ways to intentionally create happiness in my own life every day!
Today, I want to take a minute to dote on one of my oldest and dearest friends, Michael Raymond. We inexplicably became great friends in high school after participating in school musicals together. I'm so grateful for those moments, because otherwise, I'm not sure we would have even known each other existed. Over the years, our relationship has grown and matured into something I think every person my age hopes to achieve one day – we don't get to see or talk to each other often (he lives in New York), but when we do it's as if no time has passed.
He started his own blog around the same time I did and it's really wonderful. You should read it. (It also has the best, most fitting name ever: “That Guy.” Hilarious.) The main goal of his blog is to help him find out what happiness means to him and how to show it in his daily life. (There also are a lot of musical theatre references I don't understand, but that's okay; it's his job.) As part of this journey, he read the book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubins, and since he follows my blog and knows about my own struggles, he is now sending me a copy in the mail. I'm so excited :)
One thing he's started doing is intentionally sharing at least one thing each day that relates to his happiness journey. Sometimes it's pausing for a moment to reflect and be thankful for the the things he has; other times it's posting a silly song or music video on his Facebook page. It tickles me every time.
Something else he did recently was post a list of things he likes on his blog. As simple as it sounds, it was revolutionary to me. Of course there are lots of things in my life that make me happy, but when was the last time I acknowledged them? When was the last time I had done any of them, even when I know they put me in a good mood? Instead of focusing on what I love, I fixate on what I dislike. Today, that's not going to happen.
In the spirit of opening myself up to new experiences and finding better ways to combat my frustrations, here is MY list of likes. I fully intend on doing more of these things more often so I can be a source of positivity to myself and to others. Hopefully this will inspire you to create your own, too!
THINGS I LIKE:
-Going on long, leisurely walks -- with my dog, with friends, with my husband, in neighborhoods, on nature trails, in parks. Really anywhere.
-Getting manicures and pedicures
-Watching Netflix (though I should do less of that)
-Watching and listening to stand-up comedy
-Going on fun, simple dates that still feel adventurous, like picnics in the park
-Completing a recipe I've never cooked before. Successfully, that is.
-Actually, cooking anything
-Making crafts, even though I don't do it nearly enough (I want to learn how to paint!)
-Having long, meaningful, meandering conversations with friends
-Coffee
-Pizza
-Being outside in nature. I was that kid who wanted to live in the forest with fairies and chipmunks because I watched movies like “Merlin” and “Robin Hood” and “Hook” at an impressionable age.
-Dogs (except pugs and bulldogs because I think they're ugly and they make disgusting noises)
I know there are a lot more, but this feels like a good start. I'm really looking forward to reading "The Happiness Project" and figuring out my own ways to intentionally create happiness in my own life every day!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
I'm a goldfish, not an elephant
As a human being, I have many faults. One of them is a glaringly embarrassing example of why I have such a hard time sticking to a healthy diet plan or exercise routine. Actually, it's the root of a lot of my problems -- I don't follow through.
Because sometimes I honestly don't remember. And when I do remember, apathy sets in. "Well, I already forgot to do X thing when I said I would do it, so why try now?" It's pretty bad.
Case in point: I started writing this post three days ago, then saved it to my drafts to finish and publish later that evening. Clearly that didn't happen. Whoops.
I'm one of those people who thinks grabbing coffee with an old friend sometime is a wonderful idea, but then I forget to set a time and place with them so coffee goes by the wayside. I see a delicious looking recipe on Pinterest and make a mental note to get the ingredients to make it, but by the end of the day that mental note is long gone. I intend on finally cracking open that book I've been meaning to read on late nights when Chris is working, but then I remember that I really wanted to finish that episode of "Bones" I started the other day. (I read the intro and first chapter of the book in question over a month ago. I still haven't started the second chapter.)
I don't know whether it's a product of a terrible memory or a lack of willpower and self control, but feel like a failure when I become someone who doesn't fulfill her promises, both to other people and to myself. I hate it. I absolutely HATE that I do this. And I don't know how to fix it.
This is why I can't get back into reading or keep a food journal or take a brisk walk every day or pay bills on time ... or post regularly scheduled bog updates. Because my body and my brain don't get along.
Will a doctor's visit really force me to change my eating and exercise habits, or will I brush off (or forget) all the good advice the minute I walk out the door? This is a legitimate fear of mine. So much so that I'm starting to wonder if I have some sort of disorder. I could call it Whateveritis or Stage IV Meh.
Or maybe I'm totally overreacting and this is just a by-product of being someone who was born in 1990. People my age read and write and talk about feelings like this all the time, so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up about it. Either that, or the internet is just a big ol' garbage dump full of dumb personal essays written by whiny kids in their 20's and I should stop reading anything that has the word "Millennial" in it. (Actually, everyone should stop doing that.)
When I started this post (three days ago, remember?), I had intended on finishing up with some watered down resolution to start trying to wake up earlier to fit in a little morning exercise and get a better start to my day. But it's almost the weekend and I'm frustrated with myself, and even I didn't believe the words I had written, so there's no chance you guys would either. Let's just chalk this week up to, "Brooke tries really hard to not be a flighty, irresponsible person, but her plans usually don't go very well."
By the way: I FINALLY got an appointment with a new doctor to talk about my weight. It's set for next Thursday morning. Prayers, good vibes, and nice thoughts are appreciated!
P.S. Sorry about all the parenthetical statements in this blog. I know I overuse them. That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop doing it, though!
P.P.S. Did you get the joke in my post title?? Yeah, I'm pretty hilarious. *buffs fingernails on shirt*
Because sometimes I honestly don't remember. And when I do remember, apathy sets in. "Well, I already forgot to do X thing when I said I would do it, so why try now?" It's pretty bad.
Case in point: I started writing this post three days ago, then saved it to my drafts to finish and publish later that evening. Clearly that didn't happen. Whoops.
I'm one of those people who thinks grabbing coffee with an old friend sometime is a wonderful idea, but then I forget to set a time and place with them so coffee goes by the wayside. I see a delicious looking recipe on Pinterest and make a mental note to get the ingredients to make it, but by the end of the day that mental note is long gone. I intend on finally cracking open that book I've been meaning to read on late nights when Chris is working, but then I remember that I really wanted to finish that episode of "Bones" I started the other day. (I read the intro and first chapter of the book in question over a month ago. I still haven't started the second chapter.)
I don't know whether it's a product of a terrible memory or a lack of willpower and self control, but feel like a failure when I become someone who doesn't fulfill her promises, both to other people and to myself. I hate it. I absolutely HATE that I do this. And I don't know how to fix it.
This is why I can't get back into reading or keep a food journal or take a brisk walk every day or pay bills on time ... or post regularly scheduled bog updates. Because my body and my brain don't get along.
Will a doctor's visit really force me to change my eating and exercise habits, or will I brush off (or forget) all the good advice the minute I walk out the door? This is a legitimate fear of mine. So much so that I'm starting to wonder if I have some sort of disorder. I could call it Whateveritis or Stage IV Meh.
Or maybe I'm totally overreacting and this is just a by-product of being someone who was born in 1990. People my age read and write and talk about feelings like this all the time, so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up about it. Either that, or the internet is just a big ol' garbage dump full of dumb personal essays written by whiny kids in their 20's and I should stop reading anything that has the word "Millennial" in it. (Actually, everyone should stop doing that.)
When I started this post (three days ago, remember?), I had intended on finishing up with some watered down resolution to start trying to wake up earlier to fit in a little morning exercise and get a better start to my day. But it's almost the weekend and I'm frustrated with myself, and even I didn't believe the words I had written, so there's no chance you guys would either. Let's just chalk this week up to, "Brooke tries really hard to not be a flighty, irresponsible person, but her plans usually don't go very well."
By the way: I FINALLY got an appointment with a new doctor to talk about my weight. It's set for next Thursday morning. Prayers, good vibes, and nice thoughts are appreciated!
P.S. Sorry about all the parenthetical statements in this blog. I know I overuse them. That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop doing it, though!
P.P.S. Did you get the joke in my post title?? Yeah, I'm pretty hilarious. *buffs fingernails on shirt*
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Quick life updates
If you can't tell already, I'm bad at updating this thing daily. Or even every other day. It's no wonder that all my heartfelt attempts at keeping a journal throughout adolescence went down the drain after a couple weeks.
Still, I'm determined to be at least a semi-regular poster, so here are some things that have happened since my last entry. (It's not much.)
Valentine's Day: This day honestly has never been a huge deal to me, whether I was single or married. I didn't have a Valentine for the first 20 years of my life, so I guess I never had high expectations? Chris and I's first Valentine's date was perfect and romantic and fancy and everything that a stereotypical and cliche V-Day is supposed to be, and I loved it. Our second one ... I can't even remember. Most likely we were apart because of stupid school, but I'm sure we got to cuddle during the weekend before/after. Our third, we ordered a heart-shaped pizza from Domino's, got a case of beer and watched movies on the couch. I think it was Lord of the Rings, but I'm not sure. Pure bliss. This year, Chris had to work Valentine's night, so we had a lovely little gourmet grilled cheese lunch and he surprised me by sending these little beauties to my office:
Later that night, I got to hang out with my dad since my mom was out of town. We had dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant (La Mesa all the way, and anybody who says any different is wrong) and then talked at our table for another half hour after we were done because, why the heck not? Then we headed down to Coppa downtown because they were having three different bands play. We got there at 8:30 because they were supposed to start at 9:00 ... yeah, that didn't happen. Not even close. We left at 10:45ish and the first band was only three songs in. Still, it was really fun to drink beer and people watch and laugh at St. Joe's hipster crowd with him. Also, I made a new friend after she tipsily joined us at our table. (Since we were the smart ones that got there early and got to actually sit down! Everyone else was eyeing us jealously the whole time.) It was a really wonderful, albeit uneventful, evening, and I'm glad we were both temporarily single so we could spend it together.
Dave Ramsey classes: Seriously guys, Chris and I are pretty convinced this class is going change our lives. Whether or not you like Ramsey and his methods, it definitely seems to be striking the right note with us. We're already trying very sincerely to change our saving and spending habits, and we're only two classes in. We can't wait to learn all about budgeting and the envelope system (because we're big nerds) and hopefully that will put us on the right track to changing our financial behaviors for good. Fingers crossed!
Doctor's appointment: Alas, I haven't had my big checkup yet! I was hoping by now that I would have it under my belt so I could have a better idea of what I'm dealing with when it comes to weight loss. Unfortunately, since I don't really like my primary doctor, I had to request to be seen by someone else in that office. I called over a week ago to put in the request, which must be approved by both doctors, and they still haven't gotten back to me, even after I checked in yesterday to see what was up. If I still don't hear back soon, I guess my next step is trying to get in to see a nurse practitioner at a different office.
31 Party: It's happening this Saturday and I'm so excited/nervous! My house still isn't company-clean yet, and I need to shop for appetizer groceries, but it's getting close. Hosting my first party in my own home is a weirdly thrilling part of adulthood that I haven't experienced yet. (No, my rockin' New Years Eve party of 2012 doesn't count since it was at my parents' place.) Even though most of the people coming have already been over, I still want it to look pretty and professional. And yes, that means quarantining the dog to the backyard for a couple hours the day of, because his history of growling at strangers and grabbing food from counters doesn't make him a very nice party participant.
Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading anyway! I'm 80% sure my next post won't take me another week to write, and it will be a little more interesting. Maybe 70%. I like making up percentages.
Still, I'm determined to be at least a semi-regular poster, so here are some things that have happened since my last entry. (It's not much.)
Valentine's Day: This day honestly has never been a huge deal to me, whether I was single or married. I didn't have a Valentine for the first 20 years of my life, so I guess I never had high expectations? Chris and I's first Valentine's date was perfect and romantic and fancy and everything that a stereotypical and cliche V-Day is supposed to be, and I loved it. Our second one ... I can't even remember. Most likely we were apart because of stupid school, but I'm sure we got to cuddle during the weekend before/after. Our third, we ordered a heart-shaped pizza from Domino's, got a case of beer and watched movies on the couch. I think it was Lord of the Rings, but I'm not sure. Pure bliss. This year, Chris had to work Valentine's night, so we had a lovely little gourmet grilled cheese lunch and he surprised me by sending these little beauties to my office:
 |
| In case you're wondering about the card, yes, his nickname for me is Poopie Pants. Don't ask me why. It just happened one day. At this point I think it's cute, but feel free to form your own opinions. |
Dave Ramsey classes: Seriously guys, Chris and I are pretty convinced this class is going change our lives. Whether or not you like Ramsey and his methods, it definitely seems to be striking the right note with us. We're already trying very sincerely to change our saving and spending habits, and we're only two classes in. We can't wait to learn all about budgeting and the envelope system (because we're big nerds) and hopefully that will put us on the right track to changing our financial behaviors for good. Fingers crossed!
Doctor's appointment: Alas, I haven't had my big checkup yet! I was hoping by now that I would have it under my belt so I could have a better idea of what I'm dealing with when it comes to weight loss. Unfortunately, since I don't really like my primary doctor, I had to request to be seen by someone else in that office. I called over a week ago to put in the request, which must be approved by both doctors, and they still haven't gotten back to me, even after I checked in yesterday to see what was up. If I still don't hear back soon, I guess my next step is trying to get in to see a nurse practitioner at a different office.
31 Party: It's happening this Saturday and I'm so excited/nervous! My house still isn't company-clean yet, and I need to shop for appetizer groceries, but it's getting close. Hosting my first party in my own home is a weirdly thrilling part of adulthood that I haven't experienced yet. (No, my rockin' New Years Eve party of 2012 doesn't count since it was at my parents' place.) Even though most of the people coming have already been over, I still want it to look pretty and professional. And yes, that means quarantining the dog to the backyard for a couple hours the day of, because his history of growling at strangers and grabbing food from counters doesn't make him a very nice party participant.
Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading anyway! I'm 80% sure my next post won't take me another week to write, and it will be a little more interesting. Maybe 70%. I like making up percentages.
Friday, February 14, 2014
On fatness, happiness, and clothes
I have to take a moment to get up on my soap box today.
This morning, I read this post on Thought Catalog that made my blood boil. (Thought Catalog and Buzzfeed, despite their many faults, are and probably always will be guilty pleasures of mine. Deal with it.) Though I hate to give the page more clicks than it deserves, take a moment to read the article -- it isn't very long -- before continuing on here, otherwise the rest of what I say won't make much sense.
The writer contends that fat people are incapable of being happy because their bodies are too big. If they claim to be happy, she assumes they're either stupid or lying to themselves.
Whoa whoa whoa. First and foremost, I'm 60% sure that whoever is behind this is either terrible at writing satire or is intentionally trying to troll the internet. But if she is serious, I find it incredibly sad that she bases happiness solely on weight and body image. She must not have a whole lot of good things going on in her life if she thinks being a size 8 (which IS thin, despite what she says) will magically make her life better. And for her to assume that everyone does think or should think like she does is woefully ignorant. I am unhappy with my body, but that doesn't make me an unhappy person. Where did her wires get crossed, and what makes her think she has the right to tell others how to feel just because she successfully lost some weight? (That she'll most likely gain back, and then some, in the not so distant future.)
She says remaining fat is a choice. Okay, for some people, sure. What she doesn't take into consideration is the idea that losing weight isn't always easy to change due to medical, genetic, emotional, and cultural reasons. If someone is suffering from a disease that requires medication known for causing rapid weight gain, for instance, telling them to suck it up, get off the couch, and eat a salad isn't going to help. Neither is berating them for feeling any sort of happiness not related to their size or appearance. It's just wrong. And her saying she sympathizes with overweight people because she is a "former fat girl" is laughable. Most people I know who have lost a significant amount of weight are nothing but positive and encouraging to others.
It's a little comforting to see that most respondents in the article's comment section scorn her for her hateful words. But for as many people who express disgust at the article, just as many agree wholeheartedly with the message, further perpetuating fat-shaming stereotypes and driving vulnerable overweight girls closer and closer to the brink, giving them the idea that they are worthless because their bodies are bigger than those of their peers unless they do something about it.
Whew. Okay, I'm done being angry. Time to move on.
The only thing she does get right is that clothing companies don't make clothes for fat people. I'm intimately aware of how mainstream stores fail overweight people time and time again with their limited, ill-fitting plus size options. It IS uncomfortable to be fat. Dressing every day is a struggle for me. I constantly tug at my waistband so that it won't cut into me while I'm trapped in a desk chair 8 hours a day. Some types of clothing cause sores or chafing; gross, but true. Don't even get me started about finding a bra that fits right and doesn't poke me with wires or give me quadra-boob without costing a fortune.
It's especially bad right now because I tore two different pairs of work appropriate pants in a span of 24 hours. For one of them, a hole wore through in the inner thigh -- the fate of all my jeans, eventually. For the other, my seam caught on part of the garage door frame literally right as I was walking out the door for work. (Yeah, it was that kind of Monday.) Now my winter work clothes options are limited to one pair of jeans (that fit), a long dress, a long skirt, a plethora of tops and sweaters, and a couple pairs of terrible khaki cargo pants that I only pull out in emergencies. I need to go shopping for new clothes but I'm broke and I hate trying things on. When will it get any easier?
Well, it will get easier once I start losing some weight, of course. But I hope I don't become one of those people that instantly feels happier and more positive just because of a shrinking waistline or the shrinking number on the scale. I truly try to be a good-natured person every day and I want to positively influence everyone I meet if I can. The heartless, cruel thinking of the Thought Catalog writer will not deter me from this goal. If anything, it gives me even more of a reason to encourage others who are on the same journey I am.
This morning, I read this post on Thought Catalog that made my blood boil. (Thought Catalog and Buzzfeed, despite their many faults, are and probably always will be guilty pleasures of mine. Deal with it.) Though I hate to give the page more clicks than it deserves, take a moment to read the article -- it isn't very long -- before continuing on here, otherwise the rest of what I say won't make much sense.
The writer contends that fat people are incapable of being happy because their bodies are too big. If they claim to be happy, she assumes they're either stupid or lying to themselves.
Whoa whoa whoa. First and foremost, I'm 60% sure that whoever is behind this is either terrible at writing satire or is intentionally trying to troll the internet. But if she is serious, I find it incredibly sad that she bases happiness solely on weight and body image. She must not have a whole lot of good things going on in her life if she thinks being a size 8 (which IS thin, despite what she says) will magically make her life better. And for her to assume that everyone does think or should think like she does is woefully ignorant. I am unhappy with my body, but that doesn't make me an unhappy person. Where did her wires get crossed, and what makes her think she has the right to tell others how to feel just because she successfully lost some weight? (That she'll most likely gain back, and then some, in the not so distant future.)
She says remaining fat is a choice. Okay, for some people, sure. What she doesn't take into consideration is the idea that losing weight isn't always easy to change due to medical, genetic, emotional, and cultural reasons. If someone is suffering from a disease that requires medication known for causing rapid weight gain, for instance, telling them to suck it up, get off the couch, and eat a salad isn't going to help. Neither is berating them for feeling any sort of happiness not related to their size or appearance. It's just wrong. And her saying she sympathizes with overweight people because she is a "former fat girl" is laughable. Most people I know who have lost a significant amount of weight are nothing but positive and encouraging to others.
It's a little comforting to see that most respondents in the article's comment section scorn her for her hateful words. But for as many people who express disgust at the article, just as many agree wholeheartedly with the message, further perpetuating fat-shaming stereotypes and driving vulnerable overweight girls closer and closer to the brink, giving them the idea that they are worthless because their bodies are bigger than those of their peers unless they do something about it.
Whew. Okay, I'm done being angry. Time to move on.
The only thing she does get right is that clothing companies don't make clothes for fat people. I'm intimately aware of how mainstream stores fail overweight people time and time again with their limited, ill-fitting plus size options. It IS uncomfortable to be fat. Dressing every day is a struggle for me. I constantly tug at my waistband so that it won't cut into me while I'm trapped in a desk chair 8 hours a day. Some types of clothing cause sores or chafing; gross, but true. Don't even get me started about finding a bra that fits right and doesn't poke me with wires or give me quadra-boob without costing a fortune.
It's especially bad right now because I tore two different pairs of work appropriate pants in a span of 24 hours. For one of them, a hole wore through in the inner thigh -- the fate of all my jeans, eventually. For the other, my seam caught on part of the garage door frame literally right as I was walking out the door for work. (Yeah, it was that kind of Monday.) Now my winter work clothes options are limited to one pair of jeans (that fit), a long dress, a long skirt, a plethora of tops and sweaters, and a couple pairs of terrible khaki cargo pants that I only pull out in emergencies. I need to go shopping for new clothes but I'm broke and I hate trying things on. When will it get any easier?
Well, it will get easier once I start losing some weight, of course. But I hope I don't become one of those people that instantly feels happier and more positive just because of a shrinking waistline or the shrinking number on the scale. I truly try to be a good-natured person every day and I want to positively influence everyone I meet if I can. The heartless, cruel thinking of the Thought Catalog writer will not deter me from this goal. If anything, it gives me even more of a reason to encourage others who are on the same journey I am.
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