Change. I don't like it, but I need it.

My daily makeup routine takes me 2 minutes in the morning and I use exactly 3 products (or 4, if you count the lipstick I swipe on in the car):

1. Covergirl Fresh Complexion concealer in Classic Ivory. I use it all over my face like foundation. Cheap, simple, perfect.
2. NARS The Multiple blush stick. Expensive, but it lasts forever.
3. L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Mascara. A nice in-between price, and it makes your lashes as thick and long as falsies.

Well, tonight I've discovered that an entire third of my makeup collection has been ... *dun dun duuunnnn* ... DISCONTINUED.

I've looked for Fresh Complexion all week at Walgreens, Walmart, Target and Ulta. No luck. A quick Google search confirmed my worst fear -- Covergirl is discontinuing the trusty concealer I have used basically since I started wearing makeup.

(Settle down, it's not really my worst fear. I'm not that shallow.)

R.I.P. :(

Now, this probably doesn't sound like that big of a deal, and it really shouldn't be. But I'm a person who is extremely resistant to change. I don't fear it so much as I find it highly inconvenient. Any change, bad or good, messes up what I'm used to and forces me to alter my behavior or routine. I don't get anxiety, per se, but I don't welcome anything new or different with open arms, either.

As a result of Covergirl being a big jerk and getting rid of my favorite product, I had to find a replacement. Same brand, and I'm guessing it's pretty much the same formula, but it comes in one of those dumb looking triangle shaped jars that old ladies use. Plus it's thicker and it doesn't have a wand and it's a couple bucks more expensive and it isn't quite the same color as my old stuff.

See? Nightmare.

I know, I know, I'm being dramatic. I'll eventually get used to new makeup and life will go on. But this minor setback illustrates a larger truth about myself. Change has always been, and I suspect will always be, hard for me. Fear of change is partially what prevents me from doing responsible things like saving money and exercising more often. Why? Because I'd rather just keep doing what I always do.

I had two back-to-back doctor follow-ups in the past few days and they both told me something that puts weight loss into a new perspective for me. Once a person's body gets used to living life at a certain weight, it is highly resistant to change. It doesn't want to lose any fat, and will do everything it can to hold onto as much of it as possible. That's why losing weight can be a difficult and frustrating process. Even the best intentions are slow to produce results because body chemistry literally is fighting against it.

As good as I have been recently about exercising and eating right, I don't have any results to show for it yet. I know I need to exercise more and eat even better than I have been to really kick my body into gear, but it's hard to do when the motivation isn't there.

Thankfully, my doctors are smarter than me and more well equipped to give my body the boost it needs. I've started taking a medication that will not only help me lose weight, it also will lower my high-ish blood sugar numbers and combat symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome, which they suspect I might have.

This is a new experience for me because I'm not used to taking prescription meds for long periods of time. I also don't like the stigma that's associated with "diet pills," although this isn't a diet pill; weight loss is just a side effect. But despite that, I'm eager to see what results I might start to see soon as long as I keep up my other good work. For once, this is a change I can be happy about. Although the road to getting here was a little longer and more expensive than I had hoped (stinkin' co-pays), I'm glad I finally have a better grasp on just what exactly is going on in my body and what I can do to fix it. Here's hoping that my progress starts to pay off soon!

P.S. In light of all the terrible, horrible things happening in the news recently, I understand that this post might seem flippant or immature because I haven't addressed any of it. I don't want you to think that my makeup woes are more important to me than the suffering of others. While it doesn't mean I don't care about what's happening in our world, this blog just isn't the right territory for sociopolitical discussions. Not right now, anyway. Instead I wanted to share something that's a little on the brighter side, even if my lame attempts at humor don't quite pan out. But in any case, my thoughts and prayers are with the families of Robin Williams, Mike Brown, Tony Stewart, Kevin Ward Jr., and the people of Israel, Gaza, Syria, Iraq, and Africa. There. I think that about covers it. Let me know if I missed anything.